Page 39 of Shade of Ruin

“That is not a question I’ll answer tonight,” he says. I can tell he’s smiling, too. He’s enjoying my discomfort and confusion.

I pause, surprised at the fact that he’s keeping that from me. When he’d said he wouldn’t answer some questions, I’d expected it to be about other people. I thought he meant secrets that were valuable. Not secrets about me.

I start to get angry, but I focus on my purpose, not letting my emotions get the best of me this time. “Why am I important, Shade?”

He moves toward me, and I try to rein in my desire for him. Those inky shadows of his rise, coiling around my limbs. They’re seductive, begging me to let go of my control, but I refuse. I stareinto the darkness under his hood and don’t let him take away my control.

Inches away from me, his breath comes out hot over my neck. He whispers into my ear, and the shadows creep further up my limbs. They slide under my tunic and make my body shiver in desire, but I don’t give into it.

His voice comes out low. “Because your mother set many things in motion. Your House of Shadows bloodline is only one piece of a very shaky tower. Your mother was a very clever woman, and if she had been given the Painted Crown as she should have, the world would have been a much better place. You are part of her plans, and that makes you valuable. That makes you… worth staying close to.”

My mother would have been Queen? That makes me question so many things. My father married the Queen of Shadows? But that would… that would make me the same rank as Cole. I’d be a princess. I stare into the darkness under the Shade’s hood. “Am I really the Princess of Shadows?” I whisper.

He’s quiet for several moments. The inky ropes that cover my body solidify, tightening their grip on me. I pull against them, straining, but they're too strong. I can’t move an inch. Shadows slip under the tunic, coating my chest and back in their darkness, a warm pressure against my stomach and breasts. Then they slide down my pants, rubbing against my most intimate places.

That drumbeat in my chest is pounding so fast… My body wants to move; it’s desperate for more than these silky touches of his magic. It needs more and wants to find out exactly what it’d be like to have his hands on me instead of shadows.

Yet, I still manage to not give into those desires. I don’t beg, even though everything inside me wants to. “How are you planning to have me pay my debt, Shade?” I say the words through gritted teeth as a shiver climbs my spine. My entirebody goes rigid while he presses tighter against my lower half. The sensations make me want to moan for him, but I don’t give in. I may want the Shade’s touch, but I know that losing control is the last thing I should do.

He pauses, and I know that there’s surprise written across his face even though it’s hidden. “I think that I’ve given you more than enough answers for a single mark.”

I blink. He surprised me by cutting me off like that. I received my answers, though, so I don’t complain. The shadows that have surrounded my body fade almost immediately, and the Shade steps back. I raise my hand to receive his mark, and he says, “I like you, Maeve Arden, so I will warn you. I am committed to my path, and if that requires me to force you into doing things you are unhappy or uncomfortable with, I will not hesitate.”

There’s a sting as he presses his blackened nail to my arm, and then he releases my hand. I don’t try to keep him here this time, and when he falls into the shadows at his feet, I actually breathe easier. I run my finger over my neck, still more than a little surprised at the fact that he attacked me like that.

What was he checking when he tasted me? And why wouldn’t he tell me what it was? I sigh and kick the ground, frustration racing through me.

I take off my mother’s ring. I imagine the Shade’s hand on mine. The way his nail pressed against my skin. Such a tender grip for a painful process. The drum begins inside me again, and I take a deep breath before beginning to practice forming shadows.

Then my thoughts turn to the desires that ran through my body when the Shade touched me with his shadows. The way he controlled my body and made me feel so good with nothing more than magic. I wanted to beg him to do more than tease me. I wanted it so badly.

The drumbeat gets louder. Faster. And the shadows pour forth like an unending stream, coating the ground and my arms in them.

I wanted him to demand that I give myself to him. I wanted him to take me in ways that I’ve never wanted before. The inky shadows that cross my body are so similar to his, yet they are not the same. I focus on tightening their grip, on making them solid, but they are so difficult to hold in place. I still need far more practice.

And I don’t know if I have it in me to struggle tonight. Not that hard. My body craves touch, craves something I can’t get. A Fae who refuses to touch me. A Fae without a name. Without a face. He is magic and desire and pain and torment. He is everything I fear and everything I want.

Tonight, I watch the rivers of shadows flow and try to form them into shapes. It feels impossible, but I know it’s not. I’m not trying very hard. I don’t have that level of effort in me.

Not when all I want to do is call the Shade back and beg for his touch. But even with how desperate I am, I can’t let myself do that. I can’t ask for that favor.

Because I won’t be able to stop myself. He’ll own me then. My body, my mind, and my very soul. I won’t owe him debts. I’ll owe him everything.

Chapter 20

Death calls from the stone at my feet, and Casimir begs for an audience. My enemy wears the Painted Crown, and until it is my turn to carry it, I shall not respond. When the thief comes, you do not open the door and welcome him in. You barricade the door and draw your blade.

~King Roderic, personal journals

It’s been almost twoweeks since we arrived at Aerwyn, and Cole seems nearly cheerful at this point. It’s odd to see him grin and talk to the Fae in the village—Fae that had made me so uneasy when I’d first arrived.

Bog is currently cleaning a rabbit he caught in a snare, something he’s boasted about for the past hour. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was taking extra time just so that peoplewould walk by and he could brag to them. Okay, maybe that’s the obvious truth.

Rivertail is making his first fish stew, and the smell is incredible. The faun is smiling from ear to ear as he chops vegetables. The entire village seems to be smiling, actually. When we’d arrived, they’d been nearly starving, and now they’re not.

This place had originally terrified me. Now, instead of seeing fangs and teeth and claws, I see Duncan the gnome and Sera the banshee and Dalin the Boggart. People instead of monsters.

That’s why when Cole tells me it’s time to leave, I’m a little sad. I’d almost begun to feel at home here. Even more than in Blackgrove, I felt at home. I wasn’t an outcast. I wasn’t hidden away in the forest. No, people care about me. They say good morning to me and offer me a taste of what they’re cooking. They ask for my advice. I’d been a part of Aerwyn.

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