Page 110 of Shade of Ruin

I know exactly where I’m going. The bed in Cole’s room. The shadows that are opposite of the windows. Just like last time. Those shadows are always there.

I know what I’m doing. Deep down, I think I’ve always known. Just like how I hurt Hazel and how it was easy to create things from shadows.

I take a deep breath and let the shadows flow from my feet, creating a pool of darkness. I imagine the look of pain on Cole’s face. The terrible black lines that traced his arm. And theone who caused Cole pain. The Shade. Everything inside me is sickened at the thought that he touched me. That he saw me, that I ever considered him an ally. That he’s the one who taught me of desire.

I take that revulsion and channel it into the shadows at my feet. I can feel them change, can feel the destruction that those swirling black mists hold.

For a moment, everything’s silent, as if the world is holding its breath. I hold on tight to Cole, remembering just how much he means to me. I focus on how bound together we are. I won’t let anything hurt him. This time, it’s me that’s going to save him.

I take a step forward and fall through the world.

Chapter 46

It is not the ones we give the power to that I worry for.

It is their children. It is what happens when they have

forgotten what we have taught them.

~Calyr the Gold, A History of Magic and Dragons

For that briefest ofmoments, I’m nothing. Just like when the Shade showed me what it was to shadow walk. Lost to darkness, I can’t feel Cole on my back. I can’t feel anything. I’m nothing and there are no responsibilities. I don’t need to help Cole. I don’t need to do anything. I can simply fade into that darkness.

That darkness pulls at me, desperate to take all the desires in me away. To make me a part of it. It wants me to stay here in thevoid with it. It feels like home, just like before. The calm silence where there is no desire and no hatred. Nothing except serenity.

But the time is too short. My willpower isn’t that weak, and I visualize everything in Cole’s room. A puddle of shadows grows at the side of his bed. My shadows.

Those are a part of me I can control and sense the world through. I pull on them. Hard. Immediately, I fly out of the darkness and hit the foot of Cole’s bed. Cole tumbles off my shoulder onto the bed, falling in a heap. The shadows we came out of fade almost immediately now that they’re not connected to me anymore.

I grab the ring off Cole’s finger and slip it over mine. No one’s in the room, so I let the clothing fade. I want as little of my magical scent in the room as possible. Immediately, I’m digging out the medicine and bandages. I know exactly what to do, but as I wrap the bandages around Cole’s arm, he doesn’t stir. I’m terrified, but I don’t know who to talk to. I don’t know how to help him.

I could call the Shade. I could beg for another favor. One to heal Cole and wake him up. My fingers itch the three marks that are still on my wrist, and I refuse. I will not let him own any more decisions. Not after he nearly killed the man… the man I love.

I don’t have time to accept that realization. To think it through. He needs help, and I may not know the right answers. I grab my undertunic off the floor and throw it on over my head before going to the door to Cole’s room. Nevan is standing outside it, concern on his face. “Lady Maeve, is there something wrong?” he asks in that reptilian voice.

“I need…” I grit my teeth, not knowing who to talk to about this. Only Darian and Lee. I know he trusts them completely. “I need Darian and Lee. Are they still in the Keep?”

Nevan nods. “They are getting ready for the ceremony. Would you like me to send for them?”

I nod emphatically. “Yes. As fast as possible. Please, Nevan. I need them immediately.”

Nevan seems to sense the urgency, as he doesn’t even bow before stepping away from me and walking down a hallway.

I take a deep breath and go back into Cole’s room, closing the door behind me. I go to him and see that his breathing is still labored. There’s nothing else to do, so I just sit next to him and hold his hand. I reach through the betrothal bond and try to pull him out of this deep sleep. It’s the only thing I can think of to wake him.

But nothing happens. Minutes pass and seem like hours, and I just keep trying. Calm and peaceful, I try to wake him without upsetting his body. I want him to rest and heal, but I’m scared there’s more wrong than I had thought.

Then the door opens and Darian and Lee race to the bed. “What happened?” Lee asks, a terrified look on her face. “Nevan said that Cole was injured.”

Darian sees the arm and looks at Lee, and it’s like they’re talking without saying anything. “He broke his oath,” I say softly. “I don’t know exactly what the oath is, but he broke it, and it tried to kill him. I kept it from finishing, and it was only when he said that I could stay in Draenyth that it stopped. But ittriedto kill him for a long time. Many minutes. I put the medicine from when his back and chest were burned on his arm to take care of the wounds, but he won’t wake up. And he’s not breathing well.”

“You stopped the mark from killing him?” Darian asks. He’s very calm, like this is a very important question I’m answering.

I nod to him. “Yes. They were shadows, and they were trying to kill him, so I stopped them. Just like when I stopped the Shade from using his shadows on me.”

Lee and Darian look at each other for a few moments and then back at me. Both of their eyes are full of fear and surprise, and I don’t understand why. I’m from the House of Shadows. Whywouldn’t I be able to do those things? “Maeve,” Lee says slowly. “You need to get dressed so that you can go to Calyr. I promise we will make sure that Cole is okay. There’s a different medicine for wounds from shadows that he needs, but if you’re going to help Hazel, you need to do it now before the ceremony begins.”

I know that. I do. But when I look down at Cole, I can’t help but worry that he won’t be okay. When I’m done with talking to Calyr, I’m going to have to run. I’m going to have to escape the city, and there’s a very strong possibility that people will be hunting for me. I may not see Cole ever again.

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