Page 118 of Death is My Ride or Die

One of the reapers whistled at my sass.

Romeo chimed in again. “Ever since Death lost his scythe, his moods have been affecting our curses. I haven’t been this horny since the seventies. The three-hour-long boner twice a day was thrilling at first, but now it’s just a pain in the balls.”

Gunner made a disgusted face. “How do we always get on the topic of Romeo’s dick? I’ve heard enough stories about that dreadful thing over the past few centuries.”

“Maybe none of you noticed,” I said, “but Death has a habit of vanishing for no apparent reason. It’s his thing. You guys have known him longer than I have. Don’t you have cool paranormal ways to track him? Why ask me?”

“Because you’re hisinamorata,” Romeo purred.

I choked on my iced tea. “Hiswhat?”

“Girlfriend?” Romeo offered. “Lover? His main squeeze? His boo-boo kitty? Bae AF?”

“I get the picture,” I cut him off. “No, to all the above. We’re not together, Pinky.”

Romeo narrowed his eyes and stepped up to me, inhaling. “Do you want to bone the vicious bastard or not?”

My face flamed. “I—”

“Suspicions confirmed,” Romeo said, turning to the reapers and grinning mischievously. “Pheromones are through the roof on our little lady. And she’s exceptionally testy. Conclusion: Mommy and Daddy got in a nasty fight. Never doubt the Love Doctor. Now cough up the dough, boys.”

The pink-Mohawked reaper held out a hand impatiently toward Gunner and Denim. Cursing, they each coughed up twenty bucks.

“He’s probably with that woman I saw him talking to earlier at D&S,” Blade chimed in. He was sprawled out on a cushion with a plate of food balanced on his chest. With a cold look in my direction, he pierced a cube of cheese with his pocketknife and popped it into his mouth. “She was all over him, wearing this tight little dress . . . ”

My heart sank. That was the last thing I needed to hear right about now. I’d been devastated and sick to my stomach, concerned for Death’s well-being while also feeling betrayed that he hadn’t told me about his foreseen death. Now all I could picture was Death hooking up with some woman.

“Don’t start again,” Leo warned Blade.

“Oh, shove it, boyo.” Blade flipped on sunglasses and stretched his arms lazily over his head on the chair. “Wouldn’t you want to know if your lover was screwing around? That’d fuck me right off.”

“Don’t listen to him, sweetheart,” Romeo muttered, clasping my shoulder with a look of empathy. “He’s trying to get you riled up.”

Peering down at my fisted hand, I saw light spark to life in my palm, threatening to unleash. I gritted my teeth and smothered it to smoke before tossing my cup in the trash. “It’s been a long day, boys. I’m heading to bed.”

“Wait,” Leo said, making me turn around. He inhaled slowly and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “He’s not with a woman. He’s alone.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know where he is,” Leo said reluctantly. “I physically can’t tell you where, and it’s better that way. Stay out of his business tonight. Please. For your own safety.”

Death had sworn him to silence. My face slackened, and my heart pounded as I visualized the mausoleum and the portal. Surely he wouldn’t have gone by himself?

I stepped toward Leo, rage making me brave. “Where is he, Leo?”

The reaper’s eyes searched mine. “Summon Cruentas,” he said. “He’ll take you to Death, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

I hurried from the roof and down a long hallway that led directly to the fourth floor of Death’s apartment. The lights were off, and the space transformed into a shadowy castle at night.

“Cruentas!” I called out as I walked. The lights came on automatically as I descended the staircase to the main floor. “Oh, Crueeeeeentas! Where’s my handsome boy?”

I’d never summoned Cruentas and had no idea if I was doing it right. Usually, he simply appeared at random times. “Cruentas, if you can hear me, I need you.” Sighing, I brushed a flyaway strand of hair out of my face. “Do you want to play fetch?”

A blue tennis ball dropped to the ground behind me. Bending to pick it up, I cracked a smile and spun around in a circle, searching for the miniature horse. Pulling my arm back, I threw the ball down a hallway, and Cruentas manifested mid-leap, catching the ball in his mouth before trotting proudly toward me.

“There you are, sweetie,” I cooed, giving him a full-body scratch as he nudged his muzzle excitedly against my shins. With my hand resting on his neck, I lowered myself to Cruentas’s level and gazed into intelligent ruby-red eyes. “Leo said you would know where Death is. Could you take me to him?”

Cruentas sneezed. With a puff of smoke, a black studded collar appeared around his neck with a matching leash. He stomped his hoof once then turned to face away from me and nickered.

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