Page 107 of Death is My Ride or Die

“I told you, I’m not the one in charge,” Death suddenly snarled. “I have orders and obligations . . . and . . . ” He worked his neck to one side, as though contemplating what he could reveal. “The truth is, Faith, I have been seeking something for a very long time. Now it’s finally within my reach, and there isn’t a force in this entire realm that could stop me from attaining it.”

His cold confession shouldn’t have surprised me, but my throat felt tight.

“I can’t give your old life back,” Death said, his voice slipping to a warmer velvet. “But I can give you something else. I can give you me. For one night.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

Those mismatched eyes drifted down my frame. “Serious as a heart attack.”

Burning from head to toe, I backed away from him. “Thank you,Your Highness, for your gracious offer,” I said sarcastically. “Are youcracked in the head? Did you even hear yourself?”

“Yes or no, cupcake?”

“No!I’m not desperate for your glorious dick, and I already told you my feelings about sex.”

“Who said anything about intercourse?” His grin was slow, arrogant, and stupid hot.Curse him. “And you wouldn’t be so sarcastic about the glorious part if you saw it up close.”

“Unbelievable.” I turned sharply on my heel. “You are the epitome of an egomaniac.”

“I don’t understand what the problem is.” Death was right on my heels again. “You have urges, I have urges. It’s because I’m a dead guy, isn’t it?” I couldhearthe amusement in his voice. “Necrophilia is nothing to be ashamed of.”

I pivoted to punch him in the face, but he was gone.

Death’s laughter startled me as he materialized to the left of me, tendrils of dark matter expelling from his frame.

“I like you better when you’re cranky and hardly talk!” I shouted, then started down another path. “What is this, freakingLabyrinth? There’s no way out!”

“That’s the whole point, cupcake,” Death said silkily. “He wants us to resolve our issues, and I’m the one being solution-oriented. You, on the other hand, keep running away from me. But I can’t complain about the view of you from behind.”

My libido performed a series of backflips into a split at the thought of him checking me out. God, what waswrongwith me? He’d basically confessed to having no problem ending any innocent life that stood in his way. What if one day that innocent life was mine?

“We both know our ‘tension’ isn’t going to be solved in a magical rainforest,” Death continued. “You want me, and I’m game. The sooner you see the simplicity in what I’m offering, the sooner we solve your block, don’t you think?”

“You’re disgusting, and you know that’s not why Ace trapped us in here. He wants us to resolve our emotional issues and defeat Ahrimad together, but you’re too thickheaded and stuck in your old ways to see that.” I strode quickly away to split us apart, him on one side of an iron fence covered with vines, me on the other.

“You asked me to open up; I showed you my wings,” Death said, stalking parallel to me from the other side of the fence. “I did that for you.”

“Bull,” I seethed. “You wanted to show off.”

“I mean,yeah, but that wasn’t the only reason. I am, perhaps, the tiniest bit . . . ” Death cleared his throat into his fist. “Remorseful. About my behavior toward you. Although, you are rather sensitive, don’t you think?”

I gave him a vicious look.

“Nix that last part,” Death growled with a frustrated swipe of his hand. “Listen, I’m trying here, all right? I told you; I’m shit at this. The last time I talked about feelings was—oh wait, Idon’ttalk about feelings, and I’m never concerned about anyone because I’m the Grim Reaper. Yet here I am. Feeling like a bitch because I’m imploring you to understand that I . . . ” He stopped and glanced around. “Do you think Ace is listening in on this entire conversation?”

The rational part of me knew this ridiculous attempt at an apology from Death was a sign of progress, but the stubborn part wasn’t satisfied. “You said showing me your wings was the equivalent to showing me your”—I waved my finger toward his general crotch region—“thing!”

He visibly fought back a smirk. “And?”

“AndI think you and I have two very different definitions of opening up! Just because you showed me your wing-dick doesn’t mean you can get into my pants. And getting into my pants doesn’t fix the broken trust between us.”

“Wing-dick.”

“When’s the last time you were in a serious relationship?” I interrogated. “When’s the last time you were called aboyfriend?”

“Me? Tied to a silly mortal label? Don’t make me laugh.”

“Why not laugh? Have a big chuckle. It’s so funny, leading me on, lying to me, and then trying to solve everything with sexual favors. Ha ha! Har har!”

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