Page 132 of Death is My BFF

Figures.

Once I simmered down from wrath to moderate irritation again, I pickpocketed six wandering souls to get enough change for the enchantment. Scraping my talons down the short hairs along my jaw, I paced back and forth like a caged animal in the zoo. I ticked through a list of names to call in my head.

It was a short list. I didn’t trust any of them enough with my existence.

Wow, I really have nobody.

“Call Glenn,” I bit out.

Glenn’s face popped up on the screen. He held an armful of papers and was rushing around my office to organize various folders.

“Glenn.” I noticed he wore headphones and raised my voice.

“Glenn, over here!”

Glenn bopped his hips, singing an off-key Britney Spears song as he watered two indoor snake plants by my television and the devil’s ivy behind my desk.

“Glenn!”I barked.

Glenn shrieked and wrenched his headphones from his ears. Papers went flying in a hazardous rain of impending paper cuts. “My lord?”

He glanced skittishly around the room. “Wh-wh-where are you?”

“You have sixty seconds remaining for this call,” the enchantment said.

Limbo was officially on my hit list. “Glenn, this is urgent. I’m in the mirror.”

Glenn’s eyes locked onto mine as he found the only mirror in the room. His eyes bulged. “My lord, why are you . . . ”

“I’m trapped in Limbo. I need you to tell Lucifer I’m here.

Tell him I don’t have my scythe. Malphas trapped me here with a wandering spell, which means my corpse is unattended.” I didn’t even want to think about what that could entail. “Also, tell him Faith Williams . . . ” I grated my fangs together. “She’s with my father, and he’ll want to hurt her. I can’t escape Limbo alone. I need some sort of guide, or map from Lucifer. I don’t know the pathways between these worlds well enough to sift through them.”

“Does anyone else know you’re trapped?”

I blinked. “No?”

Glenn bit back a laugh. “Oh, this is gold. This isgold.”

I bared my teeth in a snarl. “I’d watch your just-grown-back tongue, Glenn. I could make a smoothie out of you and drink you down with one of those quirkily shaped colorful straws. Remember who you work for.”

“I’m afraid you’ve mistaken me for somebody else. I no longer work for anybody.” Glenn kicked at the papers on the ground and fired middle fingers at them. He loosened his tie. “Seems like my boss went on vacation and won’t be coming back!”

“Excuse me?”

Glenn fell into uneasy laughter. “Let me get this straight. You expected my help to escape Limbo, when nobody knows where you are?” Glenn balled up his hands into fists. “After everything you’ve put me through, you really think I would help you of my own free will? You know, I wet the bed once because of you!”

“Call will terminate in twenty-five seconds,” the enchantment said.

I worked my jaw several times, and then attempted to sound as pleasant as inhumanly possible. “Glenn, listen to me, buddy. I know you hate me. There’s nothing I can say in twenty seconds to change that. Just think of her. Faith. She’s a good girl. You’ve heard about Malphas, you know what he’s capable of. This isn’t about me, Glenn.”

For a demon, Glenn was about as evil as a newborn puppy. He was a low-class demon, which meant his sins before death were only slightly above normal. I thought he would change his mind and be sensitive to the girl’s safety.

“It’s always about you, Death,” Glenn said. “You—youdeservethis!”

The call went dead.

“Glenn!”I pounded on the glass. “I’m going to slice you into cubes and stew you in a Crock-Pot!” I went off in another language as a deafening crash of thunder shook the ground and lightning shattered the sky in spiderlike white fractures. Limbo was known for its melodramatic, shitty-ass weather. My mood made it worse.

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