Page 63 of Footlights and Forever

“Hey baby.” His smile filled his face as he came into focus. I heard the rush of traffic behind him mixed with the shouts of people.

“Hey, where are you?” Someone tapped him on the shoulder. He craned his neck to look at someone just out of shot.

“Hey, yeah I will meet you at the bar.” He winked at whoever it was, and jealousy unfurled in my gut. “Gimme a few.”

“Austin,” he dragged his attention back to me as I watched a broad-shouldered man pass behind him and walk out of frame, “where are you? And who was that?”

“Oh Dylan, yeah, sorry.” He smiled back at me. Had the fucker just instantly forgotten I was here? “I’m just leaving the lot, and that was one of the cast. He plays an original character. He just started yesterday and is new to the city as well. He just got dumped by his boyfriend a few weeks ago when he moved here, so I’m taking him out to commiserate.”

“Oh, how thoughtful,” I forced out through clenched teeth.

“Anyway, listen, we need to talk about something.” Something in the way he looked at me told me this would not be a happy conversation.

“Many a breakup has started out just like that, Austin,” I laughed nervously.

“It’s not like that, Dylan,” he frowned. “But listen, the studio are nervous about public perception when we market this show. They are looking to do a nationwide press tour with stops in all major cities. They are thinking about talk shows, late night, press junkets, the works.”

“That’s awesome Austin, but I…”

“The studio has made it pretty clear they want the image to be the four of us leads, front and center. The keywords they are using are hot, vibrant, young, sexy, and available.” The last word speared me through the chest like a hot dagger.

“But you’re not available, Austin,” I muttered warily.

“No, I know that.” He smiled sadly. “But they don’t want the people who watch the show to know that.”

“Are you saying that you want us to break up?” I’m not ready for this conversation.

“Of course not, Dylan.”

“Oh good, I was worrying.” I breathed a sigh of relief.

“No, they just want to make it appear as though I’m single, so we need to disappear our relationship from the public sphere. So, deleting stuff from social media, maybe we don’t do any PDA in public when we see each other, and I will just be saying in interviews that I’m single and open to finding love,” he said it so cavalierly, as if he wasn’t packing up our relationship, shoving it into my arms and forcing me back into a closet.

“Oh, isthatall?” I laughed, mirth missing from my voice.

“Dylan, don’t be like that,” he groaned. “You know I love you.”

“Yeah, but we just can’t let anyone know that.”

“It’s for the show.” He bit his bottom lip and looked around him. “It’s for my career.”

My mind flashed back to that first night on the dance floor at the prom so many years ago. “No friends, no enemies, no spotlights or footlights. Nothing.”

“What?” His brow furrowed in confusion.

“That’s what you said to me when you pulled me onto that dance floor at the prom. No spotlights or footlights.” I felt my heart begin to unravel as everything I knew began to fall away. “This life isn’t for us, is it?”

“What do you mean?” I saw him move until his back was against a high sandstone wall.

“I mean this, what we are doing now. This distance and hiding our relationship. It’s not for us. It’s for you.”

“That’s not fair, Dylan,” he whispered.

“So tell me, Austin.” I didn’t want to ask this question, but I knew I had to. “Is my face the first thing you think of every morning when you wake up? Do you wonder how I’m feeling when you are making these decisions which affect both of our lives? If you had to choose between this network deal and me, would you choose me every time?”

He looked up into the sky, his face pained as he mulled over my question. “I’ve worked so hard for this, Dylan.”

“I know you have.” I smiled sadly. “I know.”

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