I’d watched as her face fell before she slumped back into her seat. “You’re in a relationship?”
“Yeah.” I’d smiled warily. “For a few years now. Don’t worry though, he is getting into the business himself. He knows what to expect.”
They’d exchanged a look behind the desk before plastering wide smiles on their faces. “Um Austin…” Marge had begun. The hollow in my stomach had started to deepen as the looks passing between them spoke volumes. Something about me or my relationship was going to put a stop to whatever was about tohappen here for me. “Listen, as we said, we think this production is going to become very popular.”
“Yeah, I think that’s great.”
“So we want to be really clear about what it is we want from our leading man.” She’d leaned across to whisper something into Mitchell’s ear. He’d looked down at the notes on front of him before giving a quick nod. Standing quickly, I’d watched as he’d made a quick exit from the room.
“Is everything okay?” I’d gestured towards the door.
“Oh of course.” Marge’s smile had been similar to that of a hunting shark. “As I was saying I really want to be clear what we are looking for. I can be real with you, can’t I, Austin?”
“Sure?”
“Good, I thought so.” Plucking the pencil from the desk in front of her, she’d begun to doodle absentmindedly on the paper left by Mitchell, “With this type of show, it’s not just about the character we play on stage, but also the character we play off stage as well.”
“Off stage?”
“Of course, when we have our gorgeous male lead up on that stage, stripped naked and writhing around with our leading ladies, we want the men and women who come to see our show to imagine that it’s them up there with you. Acting the part on the page is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to promoting a show. We want our main cast to be sexy, fresh, alluring as hell and most importantly, available.”
“I’m sorry, I’m not sure what you mean.” My stomach had dropped as if I’d taken a plunge in a rollercoaster.
“Sure you do.” Her smile had grown wider. “Now I’m not saying that we want you to be sleeping with your audience by any means, but we do want our audience to have the illusion and fantasy of possibility. Also, as I said, it’s not just about the show, it’s the show that starts after.”
“After?”
“Austin, shows like this are expensive to produce and though we have no shortage of funds available to us in the immediate future, we are always on the lookout for new investors and producers to come on board to get this run and other future runs made. It’s the job of our leading actors to go to after show parties, corporate functions, sit downs with journalists and general schmoozing, y’know.”
“Are you telling me that I can’t do this show and stay with my boyfriend?” I hadn’t completely believed that was what she was saying, although it very much sounded that way.
“Oh, of course not!” Madge had cried, her hand flying to her chest. “Of course we would never get involved with the private lives of our actors. That’s just not what we are about sweetie.”
I’d breathed out a sigh of relief. “Sorry, I just had to check is all.”
“Oh absolutely, darling.” Shuffling the papers on the desk in front of her she’d let out a loud chest-clearing cough. “So, you and your partner are very solid, yes? That’s not changing any time soon?”
I’d maybe exhaled too soon. “Yes, I love him.”
“That’s darling.” Clapping her hands together she’d stood from behind the desk, “Austin, we really want you in this production. You have the presence, the face and the talent and we definitely want to bring you along with us.”
“That’s great…”
“I think the lead might not be the best part for you though.” Well, shit. “I think you would be very suited to the part of the lead’s best friend. Sure, they have a few less scenes but there is still a lot of exposure, and you won’t be asked to do all the unnecessary networking that the leads will be asked to do.”
I’d zoned out for a bit, nodding in the correct places and smiling when I needed to. I’d spoken with my agent, who’d beenconfused at first but had then confirmed that I had received a formal offer to play a secondary role. I’d have been lying if I’d said that a few stray thoughts hadn’t passed through my mind, a barrage ofwhat ifquestions, that never did anyone any good. I’d agreed to the stupid party that evening as a way to distract myself from the small voice in the back of my head that had unfairly blamed my relationship for my lack of success.
“Kyle, listen. I’m not afraid to admit anything to myself. I’m not like you, okay? Relationships and the people I love actually mean something to me. I can’t be like you, going from person to person and never really making any real connections.”
“Ouch.”
“I’m just being real man. Dylan is important to me. Even if it is true that my relationship with him held me back today, so what? Do I want to be one of those people who lives to work? Do I want, in thirty or forty years’ time, to be walking down the sidewalk and see Dylan walking hand-in-hand with another man? Fuck no, that would kill me. If I have to sacrifice to keep him with me then that’s what I’ll do.”
“I understand that, I do.” Kyle nudged my shoulder. “Come on buddy, let’s go and get drunk and forget about all this shit. We still need to celebrate because my boy went and landed himself a gig on Broadway.”
“Fuck yeah I did!” I shouted, dragging him into a hug and whooping loudly into the New York night.
Chapter 17