Page 19 of Footlights and Forever

He didn’t even battle to catch the word out of the air and stuff it back in his mouth and justify it as temporary insanityor anything. “I don’t like the way you think of yourself,” he murmured against my hair.

“Austin I…”

“Shhhh, let’s get you to the prom.”

The whole drive to the hotel where the prom committee had finally decided to hold the infernal event was laced with awkward silence and an air of apprehension for something that seemed just out of my reach. I was still so confused about what was supposed to happen when we got there. He’d told me that no one would pay us much attention, but I knew he was wrong. He’d just had the luxury of only being noticed under a positive light. Arriving at the senior prom with the biggest nerd at school would only draw the type of attention I had spent the past few years desperately trying to avoid.

There was also the flip side of this however, the side of the prom which I’d once described as a patriarchal display of power, beauty and shallowness, much like when farmers paraded their prize cattle around the livestock market trying to entice the butcher to buy and to shame the farmers with inferior stock. Hailey would knock out a few teeth if she knew I was unintentionally comparing her to a prize cow.

I was now getting slightly giddy at the prospect of showing up with the most popular boy in school on my arm and a ‘fuck you all’ expression on my face. I quickly reminded myself, however, that I was not Molly Ringwald, Drew Barrymore or Rachel Leigh Cook.

“Listen Austin.” He eyed me warily out the corner of his eye as he pulled down the ramp into the underground car park of the hotel. “I am so grateful for the ride, but I think it might be better if we go in separately.”

“What?” His foot stepped down on the brake a little harder than he probably meant to.

“I want you to have a good night and I don’t think you can do that by showing up with me.” I kept my eyes trained on the clasped hands on my lap.

“Dylan but I want…”

“Please?” I sneaked a look at him, my heart crushed at the sad expression on his face. “I don’t want to be worrying all night about what being with me is doing to you and I don’t want to spend the whole night trying to ignore the whispers and stuff that will happen if we walk in there together.”

Austin turned off the ignition of his car, turning sharply in his seat. Anger burned in his eyes, he opened his mouth as if a whole speech was waiting to emerge, his hands clenched into fists on his lap. In an instant, I watched as the fight leaves him as he passed me the car keys. He reached behind him and opened the door, stepping out of the car and slammed the door closed.Fuck no, I’m not letting him walk away like this. I quickly unbuckled my belt and stepped out of the car, being careful to lock it as I left across the lot in pursuit.

“Austin, wait!”

I shouted as the space between us grew. I noticed another couple at the bank of lifts. He stopped between two parked cars and turned on me.

“What?” He sighed, his fingertips rubbing at his temples. “I’m going in alone, like you wanted remember.”

“You know it’s not like that.” I approached him slowly, my hands coming up in surrender. “You know I would walk in there with you in a heartbeat if it was easy.”

“It is, you just walk in with me,” he pleaded and my heart shattered more.

He just doesn’t understand. He will thank me one day.“Please, I don’t want you to hate me. But I know I’m right. Can you please just trust me on this?”

“But…”

“No buts.” I closed the distance between us, my hand sneaking down to grab his own. “You know how much shit I have had to take from Garrett over the past few years; are you seriously telling me you would be okay with him ruining your one and only senior prom night with the constant shit he would give both of us just to make some statement?”

I saw a dawning realization settle within him. Being the selfish prick I am, I wanted him to continue to fight me on this. Seeing the slow development of approval stung a bit, but I knew that I was right in my actions.

“Do I have to ignore you all night?” He looked over his shoulder as the elevator dinged and the young couple got in.

“I mean,” I shrugged lightly, “I don’t know, maybe come hang out with me for a little bit. It would be nice to see you at prom I guess.”Therefore defeating my actions, but it’s not as noteworthy as walking in together.

“I hate this,” he bit out.Me too buddy.He started to turn to walk to the lift before stopping in his tracks. “I forgot.” He reached into the inside pocket of his morning coat and pulled out a small delicate handkerchief. Opening it up he pulled out three very small stems with purple flowers that seemed to shine in the gloomy car lot. I moved forward to take a closer look. Tears pricked my eyes so quickly I didn’t get chance to dash them away.

“Is that?” I gestured.

“I remember you saying you wished you would have gotten to see Julie Andrews as Eliza Doolittle and that you loved the pictures of her on stage with the basket full of bright violets. I thought it might be cool for you to wear these on your jacket. I mean it’s no corsage or anything, but it’s something you know?” He pulled a pin from his own jacket and attached the flowers to my own. It was a bit wonky and the flowers were slightly crushedfrom his pocket, but it was possibly the best thing that had ever been given to me.

“I just…” I tried and failed, “I want you to know what this means to me.”

“I know.” He smiled down at me, his fingers coming up to trail across my cheek and along my jaw. “I know.” Leaning down he placed a small kiss on my cheek and then to the side of my mouth. I wanted to groan. I wanted to demand his tongue in my mouth.

However, like a hungry little bird begging for scraps of bread, I was willing to take whatever he was willing to give me. Smiling at me one last time, Austin walked away and disappeared into the elevator.

I didn’t know what I was expecting. I think I’d been expecting some streamers hanging from the ceiling and maybe some trios of balloons in the middle of the tables, like a wedding planned on the back of a cigarette packet. What I was not expecting was for two big burly security guards to be standing in front of a huge set of tall old wooden doors. I gave my name and showed my student ID. is the doors were pulled wide open, revealing what seemed to be a portal transporting us into eighteenth century Paris.

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