Page 52 of Footlights and Forever

I reached down between my legs and gripped my cock in my fist. I shuttled my hand up and forth, my breath hot against my face as I panted harshly into the mattress. I shouted in surprise as I felt him spear his tongue into my wrecked hole. His mouth closed over me and sucked ever so gently. I was done for. My balls drew up tight and I shot hot and heavy on the bed beneath me. His arm wrapped around my waist, keeping me up, andhis tongue performed miracles on my asshole. Eventually the prodding turned to licking and he withdrew from his onslaught.

“I think you murdered me,” I sighed dreamily.

“I think you murdered me right back.” His voice was filled with happiness as he fell down next to me.

“Eurgh, I have to work later.”

He pulled the sheets up over us and stroked my hair. “Work can wait till later. Right now I want to hold you and fall asleep with you.”

He fiddled with the alarm clock on the bedside table before pulling me back against his chest.

“I love you, Dylan,” he whispered against the nape of my neck.

I smiled, my heart once again whole. He didn’t need me to say it back. He knew from the way I pulled him more tightly around me that he was all I cared about in this world. I fell quickly into a dreamless sleep.

Chapter 18

“Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they’re too busy with their own. The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. Everyone. If you could hear what they were feeling. The loneliness. The confusion. It looks quiet down there. It’s not. It’s deafening... .” — Buffy Summers to Johnathan

Austin

Austin

Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod!was all my internal monologue could manage as the lights of the stage glared brightly onto the stage, almost blinding me to the packed house we had in on opening night. The audience was a cacophony of deafening applause, feet stamping, woops and yells and an indistinct, almost negative outline that I could just about make out just past the brightness of the spotlights.

I heard the stage manager over the speakers call the names of the three leads: Christine Frank, Teddy Petrov and Lisa Post. My stomach clenched slightly as I watched Teddy take his place between the girls on the stage, their hands joined as they took abow for their adoring audience and fans. The crowd went wild as Teddy placed a chaste kiss on the cheek of Christine, before turning to dip Lisa into a dramatic swooping kiss, calling back to an earlier plot point in the play. It had its desired effect as the noise ratched up to levels that I feared might permanently damage my eardrums, or at least the structural integrity of the old theatre.

I allowed the melancholy thoughts of what could have been wash over me for just a moment before my eye drifted to the front row where the cast’s loved ones had been allowed to take residence for the opening night. I saw the look of love and pride on Dylan’s face as a single tear tracked down his face. I had to stop myself as I realized that all I would need to do was walk to the edge of the stage and lean over, and I could wipe it away. He mouthed that he was proud of me and my heart filled.

I was a hundred percent lost in his eyes to the point that I almost missed the announcer calling my name. Dylan laughed and made a shooing gesture with his hands. The crowd erupted into more applause as I blew a kiss to the man I love before walking to the edge of the stage and taking a bow.

The weeks of rehearsal, late nights and headaches from the screaming of the stage manager faded almost insignificantly into the background as I stood at the edge of the stage and took my second bow. This was it. This was what all the years of study, the countless auditions, call backs and rejections had been for. This moment. Standing in the spotlight at the end of a stage being lauded for something you loved.

The encore passed in a blur as we all took our places on the stage, our hands linked as we took our final bow as the curtain fell. The heavy safety curtain settled into place and the band struck up the closing music once more. Lisa turned to me and jumped into my arms.

“How fucking amazing was that, you little beauty!” Her American stage accent dropped, and her thick Northern English accent came into full effect. “I could see me mam’s eyes pouring. She is gonna need like five vodkas before the night is over.” She rubbed her chin contemplatively.

“I think that goes for all of us.” I smiled, my hand affectionately rubbing her back.

“I see your man down in front row While I wait in wings.” Teddy slapped my arm. “During scene in car on the way to cabin, he was mouthing along your lines with you.”

“No way!” I barked out a laugh. I’d gone over my lines so many times with him that I was pretty sure he could play every part in the show perfectly. I had been cranky a lot over the past few weeks running up to tonight’s performance. Anxiety and self-doubt warred within me as I’d watched the leads of the show give award-winning performances. I’d tried to fight off wave after wave of imposter syndrome as I’d taken to the board and the spotlight had shined upon me. There had been times that I’d watched Teddy in scenes that could have been mine. Could have? No, should have been mine, if not for the short-sightedness of the casting director and production. I had at times taken that frustration home and sometimes consciously started arguments with Dylan. It had taken me some time to realize there was still some subconscious resentment, that in a way I was holding him responsible for me not getting the role that I deserved. I’d kicked myself over and over as I’d eventually realized that the only thing that Dylan was guilty of was loving me.

There was still something I just couldn’t shake, and I prayed it would pass.

“Is your boy coming with us to the cast party?” Christine called over her shoulder as she pulled the heavy duffle she was wearing over her head, hanging it on a rack just off to the side.

“My boyfriend is coming to the cast party, yes,” I laughed.

“Good, it will give me someone to talk to.” She shrugged. “I hate talking to actors. Vapid airheads, the lot of them.”

This bitch?Lisa mouthed, pointing her thumb over her shoulder.

“You know you’re also actor, yes?” Teddy’s thick Russian accent, deep and baritone, reverberated around the room.

“I’m paying my dues until I can get enough of a profile to direct.” Christine’s nose lifted as if she was trying not to breathe the same air as us. Her attitude had changed so much, from the sweet ingénue I’d first met on casting day to this stage diva without any of the clout to back up the entitled attitude. The casting director had nudged me one day during rehearsals and told me that it was normal and that eventually it would pass… or it wouldn’t and she would likely get blackballed.

“So shall we go get changed and meet our adoring fans?” Lisa squealed, jumping on the balls of her feet and clapping her hands together.

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