Page 16 of Dali: The Demolisher

“About that.” He sighed and wiped the small droplets of sweat that had accumulated on his forehead. “I meant it, but I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want you dating anyone else, but that’s not my place to say.”

“Why don’t you want me dating? It’s not like we are.”

“Are you really going to act like you don’t know how I feel about you, Kassadee? Is that what adulthood has reduced us to?”

Shrugging, I sat on my stoop. “You literally just asked if we can be friends. What more am I supposed to think there is between us?”

“I want us to be friends because that’s what we’ve always been, and it’s the foundation we’ll need for anything more.” He came and sat next to me. Even with the sun and heat bringing his natural scent to the surface, it mixed well with the Dior Sauvage cologne he often wore. “I’ve always been in love with you… even before I knew what love was.” A soft chuckle escaped him. “You remember when you got that scar on your thigh?” The pads of his fingers slipped across the four-inch scar that was on my thigh.

“I don’t remember a lot from my childhood, but I definitely remember that. I also remember you taking up for me.”

“I’m not sure what it was, but something in me changed that day. All I knew was I wanted to look out for you, take care of you… protect you.” He took my hand into his. “That hasn’t changed.”

“Dali…”

“I know the reasons we couldn’t be together in the past felt plentiful but the reasons we should be together outweigh them all. In case I’ve never actually said the words, I want to be with you, Kassadee. Yes, I want us to be friends first and get to knoweach other on a romantic level, but I want you, Kas. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes to prove that to you.”

“You do?” I asked just above a whisper, making him chuckle.

“Yeah. I do. I gave up boxing for you. For our future. Trust me when I say there’s nothing I won’t do for you.”

My head shook as I removed his hand from mine. “No, Dali. You didn’t have to do that for me. What happened with Camila… that’s my issue. It was certainly no reason for you to stop doing what you love.”

“I don’t care about doing what I love if I can’t have who I love beside me.”

“You’ll resent me.” I stood and took steps backward. “Maybe not in the beginning because the excitement of us will make it feel worth it. But one day, you’re going to wake up and realize what you gave up… and you’re going to resent me. I can’t be the reason you stop boxing, Dali. No.”

He released a long sigh as he stood. “I thought about my decision before I made it, Kas. I know what I’m giving up to have you. You’re worth it to me.”

My emotions were all over the place. Though I appreciated the sacrifice he’d made, I would never be okay with it. Being a boxer was all he’d ever wanted to do with his life, and I would have never asked him to give that up just to be with me. I understood the magic and power of romantic love, but was it worth giving up a different kind of passion and love?

I took his hands into mine and swallowed back my tears.

“I’ve waited a long time to hear this… to have this conversation with you, Dali.”

“But?”

“Baby, I can’t be responsible for you giving up your dream. Yes, you boxing is triggering for me, but I couldn’t possibly hold the guilt of you—”

“Hey…” He tilted my head by my chin. “It’s my life that I am choosing to share with you. How I decide to do that is up to me. You were worth the sacrifice to me. Are you saying I made it in vain?”

My head shook as I released a shaky breath. “I’m saying I couldn’t possibly be with you knowing you gave up boxing for me. It would be different if you stopped and we organically got together. But giving it up for me?”

He chuckled. “Why won’t you let me do this for you? Isn’t this a grand gesture like you be reading about in them damn books?”

That made me smile. “Well yes, it is, but just like you love me enough to give that up for me… I love you too much to let you. You’re still so young, Dali, and your career was thriving. Can you honestly tell me you don’t miss boxing?”

The comfortable smile that had been on his face faded. He squeezed the back of his neck and avoided my eyes. When he didn’t respond, I kissed his palms.

“I wondered how you felt about me,” I continued. “If you loved me the way I loved you. Now I know you do. And maybe in another lifetime, we can be together. But not right now and not like this. I’m living my life the way I want to, and I want the same for you. Get back in the ring, baby, and don’t let anyone pull you out except you.”

“Kas,” he released in a low hum.

I pulled my hands out of his and quickly made my way inside my home. It felt like I was being suffocated. It felt like some kind of cruel joke. This was the moment I’d been waiting for, and just as quickly as I had him, it was over.

I was doing the right thing, right?

There was no way I could let him give up boxing for me.

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