Page 93 of Collided

She gives me a nod and smiles. “Yes. I’d love that.”

Together we pack the bracelets. I cross-check the orders with her and then write the names over the packages so we can send them to the right address.

While working, I ask her the question again, hoping she’ll answer me this time. “What happened back there?”

Her hands freeze over the twine that she was tying a knot on. Clearing her throat, she says, “I didn’t have breakfast, so I had a vertigo.”

Fucking bullshit.

“I didn’t know that’s what we call panic attacks these days.”

Her eyes quickly find mine. “You know what they are?” The way she watches me closely makes me want to book a flight and never return to this godforsaken fucking town. She’s getting past the wall that hides my secrets.

“I’ve heard of them.”And experience them almost every other night since my sister’s death.They are useless since they don’t cause fatal death, but they’re pretty good at making you believe you’re nearing the end.

“I…I’ve never talked to someone about this before.” She works on the next package as if she can’t bear to sit idle and talk about her feelings.

It’s insane how well I can read herandrelate to her.

“I won’t fucking judge you if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then?”

Not knowing what’s bothering her frustrates me. I want to know what’s wrong and fix it for her. I don’t want her to have panic attacks. I know how awful and weak they make you feel. IfI can do anything for her, so she doesn’t have them, I’ll do it in a heartbeat.

A forlorn look touches her face. “I’ve never had friends. Since kindergarten, I’ve been alone and now I’m a senior. It’s years of loneliness that I can’t erase just because I have someone now.”

“You’ve had me for a while now,” I whisper.

I try to see it from her perspective. She’s not wrong. It must be hard for her to suddenly be thrown into a tight group. Sebastian, Marie, and I all have been through a lot. It doesn’t matter that Marie joined us last year. With the way she’s supported us and been there, is like how Bash and I have been for each other for years. We two have grown up together since second grade. We shared everything until Emery got sick and I fell into depression, and he fell into alcohol because of how things were at his home.

Nonetheless, I’ve always had someone. But Hope truly has been alone all this time.

“I already know things and I haven’t judged you. You can trust me with anything,” I add.

She stays quiet for a whole minute, then says, “I don’t know what happened back there. It was like my mind couldn’t stop thinking. Every thought had its branch that kept growing with more voices. Before I knew it I couldn’t breathe, and my heart was beating so fast. It was like I was stuck in—”

“Chaos.” I complete it before I can stop myself.

She watches me keenly, before nodding. “Yeah. That’s exactly how it was. I was so afraid. I’ve felt fear before, but this was different. It was like I’d die.”

“Youwerehaving a panic attack.”

“How do you know that?” she asks with a frown like she’s worried for me.

“I’ve read about it.”

She studies me skeptically. Then chews on her bottom lip, and says, “Thank you for helping me. If you hadn’t, I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

My chest tightens.

This girl does strange fucking things to me.

Once we’re done with the packages, I drive us to the post office. Hope pays the money, and we walk out onto a busy street. People around us go about their lives throwing little attention at us.

It’s past noon and the sun is shining brightly. The phase of summer air slips away as August comes to an end.

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