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I scoff in amusement.

Feelings are pathetic, especially love. It’s a misconception, made up by the world turning people into fools. A disease that plagues minds and hearts leaving only ruins in the end.

“Be her friend, Heath. Sometimes that’s all a person needs.”

“I don’t do friendships with girls.”

“Hope is not some girl.”

No, she isn't.

19

Hope

Descending the stairs I feel the shift in air before I hear the hushed whispers coming out of the kitchen.

With blood gushing through my veins, I near the door and take a peek.

I turn cold at the sight in front of me.

Dad sits at the island. Mom serves him breakfast, smiling and staring at him like all is well.It isn’t.

She looks tired in her blue scrubs, but there’s a glow to her face that radiates further when Dad picks up her hand and places a kiss.

My dinner rises to my throat with such force that I’m seconds away from puking my guts out.

What is happening here?

Does she know he’s not sober?

Is he sober?

Why is he even here?

Dread mixed with fear seeps into my soul like a poison and turns everything bitter.

Is this a dream?

Please let this be a dream.

My heart sinks in my chest. I don’t think I’ll be able to hold it inside any longer.

“You make the best coffee in the world.” He pulls her down for a kiss.

My stomach rolls in disgust.Is this real?

I can’t fathom why Mom is letting him touch her. The same hand that was going to land her six feet deep four months ago. Here she is acting like nothing’s wrong.

I pinch myself and suppress the wince.No. It isn’t a dream. This is very much real. As real as it gets.

My parents are together—as it appears so. The fact should make me happy.It doesn’t. All I feel is anxiety in the pit of my belly that multiplies crazily.

Hundreds of questions circle my mind like planets around the orbit. With the addition of my thoughts, I find myself on the whim of toppling over the axis and falling into space.

When they pull away, she catches me watching them. A look of surprise washes over her face.

“Hope, you’re awake,” she says breathlessly.

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