Page 82 of Collided

“Make what?” I ask.

She gulps the smoothie. “Maps in books. They’re so pretty.”

Of course, she’s talking about books. She loves them more than anything else in the world.

“There are fucking maps?” I have no idea about books.

She nods. “In fantasy books, there’s world-building, so there are maps to navigate as you read. A whole world resides in a book. It’s amazing.”

I watch the way her lips move as she explains. Her vibrant smile is like a final brush stroke just before a masterpiece is complete.

“You must have a favorite,” I say, not hating the fact that I’m making conversation. I want her to speak more because she looks entranced when she talks about books. A look I’ve never seen on her face before, one I’m starting to like on her face.

Fucking dammit.

Hope chews her bottom lip in thought. Something visceral and primal shifts within me by that act. Something that has never happened before with another girl.

What the fuck is this?

Finally, she replies, “The Harry Potter series. I’ve only read the first book, but it was enough to get me hooked.”

From the corner of my eye, I catch a guy staring at Hope with a look that makes me want to bury him in the ground.Keep your fucking eyes off her, asshole!

Turning in my seat, I shield her view and glare at him through the faint image on the window. He sees me and cowers away.Good.

“Why haven't you read it?” I distract her so she doesn’t notice.

Just like before her hands fidget with each other. I know right away she is uneasy. The question is why.

“My mother isn’t a fan of me reading books, so she doesn't buy me the series. I tried saving up money to go to the city and look for them in a bookstore. The fare alone would cost me more than a hundred bucks, but that’s my best option. The library here doesn’t have it. The librarian always gives them away in schools or some kid is always reading them.”

I don’t like her mother.

A gloomy look passes over her face and her eyes further lose their light. She looks sad.

My heart claws my chest in an ache I haven't felt for anyone in a long time. Not after all the shit that went down last year. This is different and more personal. I have no ideawhyit matters to me.

Hope is just some girl. I shouldn’t feel like this toward her—this need to take away her sadness or protect her from danger. Whenever I am with her, she calms the chaos within me.

“Someday I’ll read it.” With a smile, she shakes off the sadness like it’s a speck of dust.

Once we’re done at the diner, I drop her home and then drive to Sebastian’s place with a heart that refuses to settle down. All my thoughts circle back to the girl who’s fucking up my emotional equilibrium.

The only emotions I feel are anger, guilt, and more anger. That’s how I function. Every day I wake up with a storm of rage that consumes me all day, and at night comes in the wave of guilt that lulls me to sleep.

Out of nowhere Hope came around and disturbed everything I’ve been feeling since last year. I don’t like it one bit. I like being in control, but with every interaction with her, I feel like I’m losing the ropes of my restraint.

I get inside his apartment using the spare key and find him playing a video game.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Sebastian spares me a glance before turning back to his game.

I shut the door. “I need to talk to you.”

He switches off his game and faces me. “So, you apologized to her, didn’t you?”

I scowl at his twinkling smile. “Yes.”

That damn smile splits into a grin. “Will you look at that? My best friend is becoming a softie.”

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