Page 74 of Collided

“I’ve been called worse.” I meet his gaze in the full-length mirror covering the entire wall of the home gym in my house. Well, not my house technically. My parent’s house.

He scowls in displeasure, clearly irritated with my carefree attitude. “Then you need to work hard because being an asshole is getting old.”

I ignore him and increase the speed. I need the fucking pain in my chest to disappear. It’s been there since I said those words to Hope. I stepped over the line with her. I hurt her—which was the last thing I wanted to do.

For fuck’s sake.

“You need to slow down,” My best friend says from beside me as he runs at six mph while I’m at eight mph.

“I’m fine,” I heave out, my breathing ragged.

Pain starts to descend into my muscles with the force of a meteor, but nothing is comparable to Hope’s teary eyes and sad face. I might’ve ripped her heart out with how forlorn she looked.

Fucking damnit.

Our last interaction takes over my brain and kicks out every other thought until all I can think about is her. I’ve hurt people a lot of times, but this is the first time there’s a weight over my chest that refuses to move no matter how hard I try. Her face keeps swinging in front of me like a pendulum.

I feel like shit for hurting her.

Those tears in her eyes were because of me. I’m such a fucking asshole.

When my legs can’t take it anymore, I get off the machine.

Silence fills the room with the force of a dark sky. Tension ripples through my bones.

“You need to apologize to her,” Sebastian says in a strained voice that I’ve only heard him use on me a few times.

“If the truth fucking hurt her, that's her problem. I didn’t mean to.” I feel awful for hurting her, but I don’t have the courage to approach her and apologize. She might not even want to see my face after what I said to her.

Fuck. It was mean. I’ll deserve whatever she hits me with. Probably a book.

Sebastian puts his hand on my shoulder. “You’re wrong here. You need to do the right thing if you want to keep her close. Girls are sensitive. You have to be aware of not hurting them, but they’re the best damn thing that could ever happen to you. I know from experience.” He grins, definitely thinking about Marie.

I wipe my damp neck and then hunch over my knees trying to catch my breath. When I close my eyes, I see her face and the weight sinks deeper over my chest.

Why the fuck I’m feeling this way?

“I won’t apologize, Sebastian. Forget it.”

I need to stay away from her. I hurt her today and it’s eating me alive. I don’t want to do it again. I’m as volatile as a volcano. My fire should never burn her.

The next day at school, I attend all my classes for the sake of keeping attendance. The way I fuck up things around here, only two things keep me here. One, the handsome donation my parents make to the school, and second, my grades and attendance.

As much as I don’t want to be here, I also don’t want to be a dropout.

“Heath.” A silvery voice nears me.

I take a long inhale of the cigarette and ignore her. This is not the first time a girl has approached me. I’m used to their flirty tactics, I just never indulge myself.

A petite girl with brown hair and blue eyes stands in front of me. She’s dressed in a skirt that’s too short and a top that’s too tight. Every part of her is accentuated to grab attention, specifically when she crosses her bare leg.

I exhale the smoke, the cloud wafting in the space between us. A clear sign to leave me alone, but she’s adamant about not going away.

For fuck’s sake.

She wears a whimsical smile. “I saw you outside the girl’s bathroom yesterday. Did you want to talk to me about something?”

What the actual fuck?

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