Page 29 of Collided

Sebastian and I both fight at an underground boxing ring where bets are placed, and drugs are exchanged every night. That place is a nutshell of gangs, drug dealers, and criminals as free as birds. Every single person there is on a payroll. To fight in that place, you have to be extremely good and also dangerous enough to survive. Every junkie and addict from the town is also there for their next fix. Armed men walk around like it’s a playground and weapons are sold like candies. At the right price, you can get anything.

After Emery’s death, I was filled with rage and guilt. Enough to drown in it and still swim back up on the surface. It happened to me every single day. Like an endless loop.

Sitting at home, I dwelled on the past and her, more than I was supposed to—I still do—and let myself be gripped with so many emotions that every day felt like I was dying. Until I found that place and learned how to box.

Boxing is a violent game. I get hurt often, but the physical pain numbs the emotional pain. For a little while I’m not drowning.I can breathe something other than fucking emotions. I breathe air.

“You wanna spar after school?” I suggest.

He grins. “You want to get your ass kicked?”

Stubbing the finished cigarette, I throw it away, and then face him. “I kick your ass every single time.”

A chuckle bursts out of him. “Shut up. I’ve knocked you down once.”

“Only once,” I remind him.

“You’re so fucking so cocky. I have no idea why we are friends.”

I put the car into motion. “Sure, blame it on me.”

“Your ego needs to be put in check.”

After getting the bags, I drive us back to school.

Together we walk toward the table situated at the end of the cafeteria hall. Heads turn in our direction, and I sense girls staring at me, but I ignore them. Seriously! I’m so fucking tired of being gawked at. There are plenty of other guys to fuck. I don’t want to be bothered. Besides, it’s not like I’ll fuck them anyway. Sex is the last thing on my mind.

“Hey.” Sebastian kisses Marie and sits next to her.

I take the seat next to Hope and find her fidgeting with her hands under the table.

Look at me.I don’t like anyone else to look at me, but it’s different with her.

I’m about to ask her what’s wrong when—

“Sorry, we got carried away.” Marie tames her hair and glances at Sebastian who smiles at her.

“Is there a time when you two aren’t fucking?” These two and their PDA remind me that I’d never have that in life. I would never find someone who’d understand me and choose to stay with me, after seeing how dark I am. I naturally repel everyone—which is partly my fault, I admit.

“When we’re at your place.” Marie hands everyone a burger and also pulls out the fries.

I roll my eyes. “I heard you in the guest room the other day.”

“It wasonekiss,” she defends, blushing hard while Sebastian coughs.

“Sounded more than one kiss to me.”

“Shut up you pervert.” She is red like a brick.

“And the time you were—”

“Stop it, man.” Sebastian kicks me under the table.

“Fine.”

Marie takes a bite of her burger and says, “What’s the plan for Friday?”

“I think we decided to go ice skating,” Sebastian answers quickly, then looks at Hope. “Would you like to come with us?”

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