Page 235 of Collided

She looks back at the crowd. “There are so many people here.”

“It’s like this every year.”

“Did you attend it every year?”

“I haven’t since Emery was in hospital, but before that yes.”

“What did you guys do?”

I search for an empty bench and find one. Sitting down I stretch my legs and then look at Hope who looks curious about my answer.

“We went on rides, ate the oily food, and bought stupid stuff.”

She chuckles. “I can’t imagine you buying stupid stuff.”

I smile. “You know me well.”

“Is it hard coming back here without her?”

I inhale a sharp breath and examine the fair that’s the same as it was years ago. Nothing has changed. Same vendors, stalls, rides, heck even the crowd is the same. Yet everything feels different because my sister is dead.

“Yes.” I fidget with the purple ring I got altered to my size so I can wear it. I move it back and forth, the motion calms me.

“Sometimes I wish I had a sibling,” Hope says.

“Trust me they’re nothing but trouble.”

“It’s better than loneliness.”

I stare at her, trying to decipher her. She tries to hide so much inside of her. It irks me because I don’t want her to hide from me. She can talk to me about anything, and I’ll listen to her. I’ll always listen to her. Whether it’s about those romance books she reads or her rambling about how chocolate makes her happy. There’s nothing I won’t ever listen to when it comes to her.

“But not worse than grief.”

Hope meets my gaze, and I feel like she can read me.

Looking at the sky, she watches the stars. “I read somewhere that when the people we love die they become a star.”

I scoff. “Don’t tell me you believe in that nonsense.”

She takes my hand and moves the purple ring back and forth.

“Look at the sky.” I give her a dry look. “Please.”

With a sigh, I lean my head back and stare up at the meaningless sky that I hate so much.

A mass of stars blinks black at me, as they hang on the black canvas, shimmering like glitter.

I take my time and watch every single one of them. Until I stop at one that shines the brightest and is golden. It’s away from the cluster, but still, it has a light that no other star possesses.

I know without a doubt that it’s Emery if she were a star. Something about itdoessomething to me. Like there’s a cosmic energy that I can feel. An assurance that she’s in a better place. I wouldn’t want anything more for her. She deserves that, and so much more.

Tears burn my eyes, and I cough to push down the lump of emotions trying to claw their way up. I rip my hand away from hers. Turning my head to the other side, I take shaky breaths that seem to tear me apart from the inside.

I can feel it. The storm from the past is trying to eat me alive.

My lungs ache with emptiness.

I hate it.