Page 190 of Collided

“I know.” My lips lift in a half smile to uplift my mood.Poor attempt.

“You love medicine?”

“I’m good at science.”

He chuckles. “Ah! You’re one of those.”

“One of what?”

“One of those people who follow a path because they’re good at something.”

He’s not wrong. Mom seems to strongly believe in that idea and won’t listen to meifI try. I mean, it’s not like I possess the courage to talk to her about it. She’ll get mad, so mad. I fear she might disown me.

“Yeah,” I whisper and fidget with my fingers in my lap.

My anxiety increases as I think about the future that I don’t want for myself, but I can’t do anything to change it. People like me, who love stories about adventure and bravery, are the ones who lack it in real life. The reasonwhywe read that kind of book is so we can experience them in the confines of fiction while also feeling like we’re that character.

Everything that I’m afraid of—love, friendships, adventure—is what makes me read books.

The waitress from before puts down our food with a lovely smile. I look up at Elliot only to catch him staring at the girl’s ass.

My stomach drops ten feet down and tension swirls like a tornado inside of me.This isn’t right.

Instead of confronting him, I choose to ignore it and focus on the food that tastes delicious.

Elliot looks back at me. “You told me you like books. What genre do you read?”

“Romance.” I try to be honest. He should know the real me, even though it makes me nauseous when I tell people that I love reading about love.

Elliot laughs. “Love. You believe in that?”

“I do,” I reply in a strong tone instead of feeling insecure. I won’t let him make me feel that way.

“Seems boring to me. How uninteresting is it to read about characters falling in love? It’s like watching a cheesy movie but with words.”

Only one thing is true out of all that he said.

It is cheesy reading about characters falling in love. But tome,it’s magical and sweet.

All my life I’ve seen the uglier and messier side of love. The side I shouldn’t have seen because it’s altered my opinion on the matter. Despite reading so many romance books, the foundation my parents have laid in my head is unmovable.

The truth is, I’m scared of falling in love. I don’t want to fall in love knowing the other person won’t have the guts to catch me. And if he does, someday his mind will change, and he’ll let me go.

I’ve seen people fall out of love over time. It’s only in books I see people falling in love more each day. It’s fiction and it doesn’t matter. But something heals inside of me when I read that fake reality.

Books are the best escapism. Only those who escape in its worlds would know.

I hold my head high. “It’s interesting to me.”

“That’s the reason why you have a book in your satchel right now.”

I put it there to show him some of my annotations, in case he was interested in me and wanted to know me more.

“I carry a book with me everywhere,” I say.

“Why?”

“It’s a habit.”

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