Page 161 of Collided

I grab a shirt and put it on as I follow her.

She stands beside the window holding herself in her arms and looking at the same view I do every night.

“Hope—”

“Have you forgotten about today? Especially after the way you treated me. You hurt me with your words and those mean glares you send to everyone else. I shouldn’t even be talking to you after the way you made me feel. It feels awful.”

I stay rooted in my spot after hearing those words.I hurt her.That realization hurts me more than anything ever has. Those punches Sebastian landed on me feel deserving now. Maybe he should’ve done more, because I fucked up royally.

Hope continues when I stay silent in guilt. “I know it’s hard for you—”

“You have no idea,” I whisper and sit down on my bed.

She sits beside me. Her beautiful eyes stay glued to my face as I gaze at the floor trying to push the words out of my mouth, but they feel too heavy.

My throat tightens and my mouth dries up.

Finally, I feel the weight of today pressing down on me, and it rips my fucking breath away. My lungs go empty with air, and I struggle to breathe.

Fuck. It can’t be happening here. Not in front of her.

I clench my hands that rest in my lap, but really, nothing helps.

“I…” I start, hoping I’ll be able to talk to her, but what comes out is a raspy sound.

What is fucking wrong with me?

I need to get my shit together.

A warm hand lays on top of mine. I look down and realize that my hands are shaking.

“It’s okay. I’m here for you,” Hope says in her sweet voice that manages to slither through the haze I’m stuck in.

Her other hand goes to the back of my head, and her fingers play with my hair.

“Just breathe.” She encourages me in a soft voice.

Fuck.

Fuck!

FUCK!

Why am I having a mental breakdown right in front of her? I’ve never let anyone see me like this, except for Sebastian. If he weren’t helping me all those times when I was on the floor heaving for air, I wouldn’t have made it this far.

He’s my best friend, but Hope has become more.

“I’m fine,” I wheeze out.

Turning my head, I look at her, and fuck, she’s a sight to behold.

I remember that day so clearly, the moment I collided with her. Her brown eyes and bony face blinded me with how beautiful they were. I was thinking, how had I missed seeing a face like hers in school? How had I not seen her before?

Distracted, because I can’t look away from her, I feel her open my fist and intertwine our fingers. She gives it a gentle squeeze. “I see you like you see me. You don’t need to hide from me.”

She adds, “Now, take a deep breath and let it out slowly.”

I do as she says—that’s how it is with us, she tells me things and I just fucking do them.

---