Page 114 of My Damaged Protector

I smile at her in gratitude and lift myself up from the couch. I walk into my room and head straight for the bed, hoping that sleep will take me soon.

Twenty minutes later, I'm still lying face down on the bed with my eyes open.

Damn it.

My mind starts to wander. First to what my daughter said, and then my aunt.

Am I a good mother?

You may not be the best mother in the world, but you're a good one.

I smile at my inner subconscious. Finding out that I'm not a good mother would kill me. I've put that girl above me all her life, but I guess not in the way that she thinks counts.

Sighing, I let my thoughts drift from her to Ian.

I wonder if he misses me. My aunt told me he came looking for me, and I pretended as though I didn't hear, when in reality,my heart was aching that I did to him the same thing I used to resent him for doing to me.

The case is different with me though. I'm protecting my daughter here. And my unborn child. A baby he was clear about not wanting. If his stance was different then, he'd certainly know where I am right now.

The scene of the last time he took me on my aunt's porch comes to my mind, and it makes me suddenly feel hot.

Sitting upright, I let my hand go between my legs. Maybe I'll be exhausted, and it'll make me sleep faster.

As I stimulate my clit, I let my mind envision his face. His beautiful eyes, and his perfect lips. The sound they make when he's inside me and the filthy words that leave them when he wants me naked.

Fuck.

My breathing soon becomes labored, and my action rushed.

I take my hand away from my clit and insert two fingers inside myself, imagining that it's his dick.

“Ha.” The moan leaves my mouth voluntarily, so I quickly take my free palm to cover my mouth.

As I fuck myself with my fingers, all I can think of is his dick being the one inside me. His big body high over mine as he pounds inside of me.

“Kiss me, please.” I whisper.

I imagine that he does as I ask, gently peeling my hand and ravishing my lips until all I can do is gasp for breath.

Then he continues to fuck me, his eyes glued to mine.

“Come for me,” he whispers.

And I try to come, but it just won't happen. I am at the edge, and I can feel my relief, but I can't touch it.

“I can't.” I choke out.

“Yes, you can. Clench that sweet pussy of yours around those pretty fingers, let your thumb graze your clit for a few seconds, and let me watch you reach the peak.”

It isn’t until I am done shaking from my orgasm that I remember where I am.

Damn. He wasn't even here, yet it feels so real. How do I ever forget a man who makes me feel this good even when he's not near?

I wait for my breathing to even out before I get off the bed and enter the shower. I take a quick one. I'm not really dirty, but I'm hoping the cool water will make me feel sleepy. It doesn't.

When all attempts to sleep fail me, I decide to write. I've been on this story for a while now, and since I've not had the time to write Ian's character out, I may as well leave him there and craft a happy ending from our current situation for us.

Many readers may not like it, but I'm sure it'll fly with at least some of them. Our relationship might not have ended like many others, but I'm pregnant with his child. I get to have a part of both of us forever, and that for me is as good as any happy ending.

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