Page 42 of My Damaged Protector

“About?”

He knows why I'm here, but the fact that he's giving me an audience right now makes me respect him more. He's a good friend. A good person, too.

“I don't know. Work? I'm losing my mind Rich. I need to work.”

He softens a little at my words, a frown touching his face. “I do understand that, but you know my hands are tied here.”

I nod, scratch my beard, and plaster on a terrible face.

I feel terrible doing this, but I have to do what I have to do.

“And there's nothing you can do to help me? I'm better now, I promise.”

“You don't get better with words, Ian. I need proof that you've been talking to a specialist and you're not going to put your life in danger in the future.”

“I'm not, I swear!”

He sighs and looks at me sympathetically. “I've heard this many times, Ian. Words just aren't enough anymore. I need proof. Go see a therapist, even if it's just once, and give me something to work with. Come on, man.”

My mouth starts to form yet another protest, but it dies in my throat when the rescue alert bell rings through the station.

“Let me come with you,” I say immediately as he starts to walk away.

“You can't, Ian, sorry. Go home.”

He's out of sight before I can put forth a better argument, and the door closes behind him.

As I watch them all run around the station, assembling the truck for the task ahead, I trek back to my own truck, ready to follow them to the location.

Richard will be pissed, but maybe he doesn't have to know.

Maybe I can just hang around and not join in on the action if I see my help is not needed. It would kill me, but I'll do it, and maybe tell Richard later. See if that will help me get his trust.

Soon, they're all mounted in the truck and leaving the station. I follow behind them at a far distance, careful not to let them out of sight.

The drive is by far one of the longest of my life, but when we eventually get to the location, I realize I can't stick to my earlier plan.

The day was almost over when the alarm sounded, and I'm sure most of the guys have left for the day. I only saw Shine, Thomas, and David climb in with Richard, and with the fire I'm seeing, there's no way they can take it on alone.

Maybe if I wasn't here it'd be better, but I am, and I can't just stand by and watch my team literally step in the fire with the odds against them.

I step out of my car and walk up to meet Richard where he's already barking out orders to the guys.

“Shine, you got the water hose for now, but let's focus more on the upper side of the house, okay? Thomas and David, you guys take on the rescuing. Current information we have is that there are fifteen people inside. Now, we all know this isn't always accurate. There may be more or less. Let's hope less. I'll scout around for more information and eventually join Shine. We'regoing to need a miracle to pull this through tonight with our numbers, but I believe if we give this our best, we may save most of these people tonight. Maybe all of them. Who's with me?”

The guys all yell in approval, and then they disperse to do their duty.

I remain lurking around the truck now, my instincts all over the place as the fire burns.

“Put me in,” I say eventually, giving my presence up.

Richard's head snaps in my direction, and frustration flickers over his features the moment he sees me.

“What the fuck are you doing here? I told you to go home.”

“You need me. Just accept the help, and we'll fix this later.”

He's reluctant at first but he only has to glance at the fire once again before he gives in.

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