Page 144 of My Damaged Protector

If anyone deserves everything, it's her.

“I'm sorry, Sarah,” I say genuinely. She glances at me, and I let my sincerity show.

She nods before she looks away from me. From the side of her face, I can see emotions running over her features.

“So am I, Ian. So am I.”

“I want the child.”

She snaps her head at me so fast, I'm almost scared she's going to break her neck.

“Easy with the neck,” I tease.

She scoffs and addresses me with disbelief. “Repeat what you said again.”

“Come on, you heard me.”

“No, I don't think I did. Not properly.”

She did. She just doesn't believe it. I've done that much of a number on her?

If she'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to her.

Moving closer to her, I take one of her hands in mine, our gaze still aligned.

“I want the child, Sarah. I want you too. I'm so sorry it took me almost losing it, losing the both of you, to realize that I can't imagine my life without either of you. Even Olivia. I've been wishing she was mine the moment I saw her. I know I don't exactly have the best track record, but I promise you, if you give me another chance, I won't mess it up.”

Her lips press so hard together when I'm done speaking. I tell myself it's because she's emotional from my words.

“I don't know what to say.”

“Say you'll forgive me for being so stupid for this long.”

“You're not exactly the only one to be blamed. I am wrong too, are you willing to forgive me for not being honest with you? ”

I shrug. “It doesn't matter. You didn't trust me because I didn't give you a reason to. Now I want to. I forgive you if you forgive me. Sarah, I'm asking that you don't hold my past actions against our chance of being happy. We can still fix this.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

“Yes, Ian. And like I said you're not the only one to be blamed here. I was wrong too. I'm going to sign up for therapy as soon as I get back home, you know, get my trust issues dealt with. I'm really sorry for not telling you the truth on time.”

I smile and nod, hope lighting a path in my heart. “That’s good, so, does that mean you want to be with me now?”

She hesitates, her mouth opening a couple of times, but no words leave her. I wait, telling myself to give her as much time as she needs.

“Are you sure? I don't want you doing anything you're not entirely happy with,” she says, looking unsure.

Damn. Have I really portrayed myself that terribly to her?

“Sarah, I left fifteen years ago, not because I didn't love you but because I felt too old for you. I was thirty-one, and you were barely eighteen. It felt wrong. But I need you to get it through your head that I never stopped loving you, even when I didn't know it myself. Now, I would understand if you don't want to be with me after everything, but don't for a second think I'm doing anything I don't want here. You're exactly what I want. What I've always wanted. What I'll always want.”

She's in my lap the moment the last word leaves me, her hands going around my neck.

A startled chuckle leaves me as she gropes me, and I let my hands go around her, too, careful not to squeeze her. I hold her close to me, inhaling her sweet scent.

I was almost starting to think I'd never get to have her like this in my arms again.

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