Page 120 of My Damaged Protector

I'm breathless by the time his hands finally make it between my legs. A sigh of pleasure and defeat escape me at the same time as I remember that my daughter is in the next building, scared out of her mind, and I'm here chasing pleasure.

“We have to stop,” I whisper against his lips.

“I know,” he responds.

We stay silent. Neither of us speaks for a full minute.

“We have to go,” I say more specifically.

“I know,” he responds again, squeezing my back. But he doesn't let me go, and I don't move either.

We remain like that for a while, not kissing or touching, yet closer than we've ever been.

It's at the tip of my tongue to tell him I'm pregnant and for him to be happy about it, but I'm not looking to get kicked out of the safest place I've found in a long while. And even if he doesn't kick us out, I don't need the tension.

So, I pat his shoulder and slowly start to move off his body.

When I'm back on my feet, I look at him, a smile on my face.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“For what?” he asks with a confused look on his face. It makes me smile brighter.

“For being a good man.”

That has him smiling, too.

Maybe there's still hope for us, after all.

35

IAN

After I helpSarah and her family get settled into the bungalow, I spend the rest of the day keeping my distance to give them space.

I need space, too.

I had no idea she had a child. One so grown for that matter, and it bothers me. Not because she has a daughter, but because she successfully kept her away from me, and I had no suspicion.

If she can do that, what other secret is she keeping from me?

I understand her need to protect her daughter, but I still don't understand how it relates to her father, and I didn't have the time to ask her because I was so busy trying to reassure her that everything would be okay.

Will it, though?

Sure, I'll do my best to protect them. I've already started by informing the estate security staff about Peter. I showed them his picture, and had them keep a copy with them to remember that he's not allowed into the estate under any circumstances.

But it's only a matter of time.

The way I felt when her daughter turned and I saw her eyes is not how I want to feel anytime soon, or even ever.

I felt like crap. Like a knife was being twisted in my gut. I thought she was my daughter and Sarah had kept her from me all these years.

The thought that she would have given birth to our child and didn't tell me wounds me. Good thing she's not mine.

While I'm not particularly excited about being a father, and for good reasons, I will never turn my back on my child. If I do get to have one, two, three, or even ten, I will ensure that they all know they're priceless to me regardless of whether their existence was planned or not.

My not wanting to be a father has nothing to do with not being willing to love a child, but because my life isn’t in order. There's also the fact that I hated my childhood in the system, and I know I ended up there because my father died and my mom couldn't step up.

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