Page 12 of My Damaged Protector

I grab a towel and clean my body, grateful I'd been smart enough to cover my hair. I don't want to waste time drying my hair and keep Ian waiting for too long.

Besides, what's the point of washing my hair when I know it's going to get rumpled soon enough?

Eager much?

Ignoring my subconscious, I enter my closet and fetch a nightie. It's one of my special ones, something I used to wear on one of the scheduled nights for sex with Kyle.

I quickly shove aside those thoughts and dress myself, tossing my towel on the bed. Once I'm dressed, I put the towel back in the bathroom and then step out of my room.

I paste an eager smile on my face as I enter back into the living room only to find it empty. Running quickly to my window, I draw my curtains aside, and I see Ian turning the corner we took earlier. I watch him disappear into the night.

Well, there goes my excitement, happiness, and heart. Poof into thin air, like him.

And just like that, I'm back to the girl I used to be. That girl who was always waiting for Ian to show up, but he constantly disappoints.

I remember the many nights he left me hanging at the slightest chance he got. All the dates he never showed up for, and then the day he finally disappeared.

What was I thinking, anyway?

That he'd be different now?

That he'd see me as the woman I now am and not the teenager he was so scared of touching back then?

Well, I guess he does see me as a woman now. The dent on my couch is all the proof I need. But I guess one night of sex is not going to magically make him fall in love with me or anything.

I was stupid to have thought otherwise.

Groaning at my clear case of delusion, I walk back into my room and fall face flat on my bed, thoughts of all that could have gone wrong if Ian hadn't saved me filling my head.

What if he had hesitated?

He had no reason to save me. No compulsion to do it, yet he did. But then again, it's Ian we're talking about here. He has always been a man with some sort of hero complex. I think he likes to save people, and he just happens to be around anytime I am in danger.

Lucky me.

Again, what is he doing in Glazer Ville?

He has no connection to the town. None that I know of, anyway. He’s a New Jersey man, born and bred. What could have possibly brought him to my hometown?

I fear I may never find out since he's ditched me again with no explanation whatsoever of how to find him.

Ian and I met in New Jersey, where my mom made us move after she had a fallout with my father. He wasn't the best father, so I can't say I missed him much. I do always wonder what my life would be like if we hadn't left my town.

Maybe I never would have met Ian.

Maybe I never would have become a writer, although the thought of that appalls me.

Maybe Kyle would have been the only man I knew, the man who'd be the love of my life, and maybe Olivia would not have to constantly demand to see her father. Kyle is a piece of shit, though. Our breakup was inevitable. My getting pregnant just hastened the process.

But if I'd never left my town, maybe I never would have met Kyle, either. I met him in New Jersey, too.

The thing is, there's no saying for certain what could have happened.

Life has a way of playing itself out regardless of how hard we try to steer it in our favor. Take Ian's situation, for example. He should have been mine, especially with how hard I tried to make us work.

Another thought occurs to me, and I instantly decide that maybe not having Ian is not so bad after all.

Would I have had Olivia if I had remained with Ian?

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