Page 45 of Her Red Hot Secret Royal Fling

Such a simple question, but the answer anything but. “It’s hard to explain.”

He stopped walking and tilted her chin to his. “Aren’t we beyond that?”

She frowned. “What?”

“Evasion and obfuscation. I thought we’d reached a place of being honest with one another?”

“I’m not trying to lie to you,” she said, dropping her eyes from his intensely curious gaze. “I just genuinely wouldn’t know where to start. It would take longer than we have left,” she added. “And looking back at my past isn’t really how I want to spend the rest of our time together.”

His eyes held hers and her heart trembled a little. Suddenly, the night ahead felt a little like a challenge to walk over flaming rocks. She had to get to the other side, but it would be hard to escape this unscathed.

“Okay, Sofia. Let’s make a deal. Until we reach the helicopter, we’ll talk about it. From the moment we lift off, the door is closed on this conversation.”

She looked down the beach, to where his helicopter gleamed like a magnificent night bird in the light of the moon, and slowly, she nodded. “Okay, deal,” she said, but with no genuine enjoyment at the prospect. However, Ares had opened himself up to her. He’d shared the trauma of his past, he’d told her about his loss, his family, his relationship with Louisa. And on some level, Sofia wanted to be open with him, too. She had no idea what it would feel like to actually talk to someone about whatshe’d been through, and how that had created a knock on effect through her whole adult life.

“I guess I just don’t see myself with someone,” she said, after a beat. They began to walk, but where she might have subconsciously sped up her steps, Ares put a strong, comforting arm around her shoulders and held her close to his side, in tempo with his long, yet languid, stride. She tried not to think about how well she fitted against him, like this. “It’s hard to date when you have no intention of seeing a relationship through.”

“Did something happen to make you feel that way?”

“I didn’t have a bad breakup or anything if that’s what you mean.”

“Not necessarily.”

She looked away from him, towards the long, reedy grass that was blowing in the gentle breeze.

“I just like being on my own,” she said with a lift of one shoulder. Were they almost at the helicopter?

“What about the Santoros?”

“What about them?”

“You spend time with them. You love them.”

“Yes.” She did. But even with them, she did everything she could to hold herself a little away. That’s why she had to quit this job, because she was being pulled more and more into their orbit, and one of these days they were going to wake up and realise she wasn’t worth it, and she’d be out in the cold again, just like she’d been with her mother.

“So, you’re not completely alone?”

“No,” she lied, trying to smile.

“Sofia,” he sighed, stroking her arm, then turning her to face him. “You really don’t want to talk about it, huh?”

She bit into her lower lip, looking up at his face, and the strangest emotions clogged her throat, making it hard to speak. “It’s just…once I start, I might not be able to stop.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Like I said, it’s just not how I want to spend tonight.”

He caught her face in his hands, his touch gentle, his gaze running over her face now almost as if he’d never seen her before. “Let me see if I can fill in the blanks,” he offered. “You lost your father at a terrible age, and in a very traumatic way. When you needed your mother most, she deserted you, and ever since, she’s been a distant figure in your life. You’ve faced rejection every day from the one person, deep down, you most badly want to love you.”

She gasped at how insightful he was. “Did Salvatore tell you this?”

“No, you did,” he said, shaking his head. “Not in so many words, but I can see what you’re not saying.” He padded his thumb over her lip, before continuing. “And after a while, you extrapolated her rejection to everyone else. You are so afraid of letting yourself feel something for someone because they might turn out to be another source of pain to you, that you wall yourself off from the world, as much as possible. True?”

She made a strange, sobbing sound. “It’s not…you make it sound pathetic. I’m perfectly happy in my life,” she insisted, despite the tears that had filled her eyes. She blinked quickly in an attempt to clear them.

“Where is your mother now?”

“Why?”

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