Page 10 of Exclusive

Quick enough to be missed, by anyone besides myself, his eyes flit away, then back to mine, the contemplation in them heavy and unbidden. His tone and words are just as cautious. “I know I’ve been miserable lately, without the extra stress of a new puppy, so I thought maybe you could use a breather? How’s a long, hot bath sound? You relax, while I unpack and set up all the stuff I brought, get this place Castello friendly.”

My eyes are already at mid-rotation before I think to roll them, Sutton’s grip on my wrists locked too soon for me to push him away, so I’m left with only a sigh and curt shake of my head. “Castello isn’t stress. I love him. And thank you, very much. You didn’t have to do that. And…” I cast my eyes to the floor, afraid he’ll see the unsaid, “the jar. It’s the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever gotten in my life. The mice, flowers. Love them too.”

He dips his head, lips brushing my ear with his murmurs. “Love anything, one, else?”

I simply shrug, because there is no right answer. I won’t lie; and either option, ‘yes,’ or ‘no,’ would be just that. But, I can’t not offer something, so I whisper, “I didn’t let you in because I’m flustered, and I didn’t cut you off, ignore your calls, because I’m mad at you. I’m not mad at you.”

“You’re not?”

I shake my head.

“Okay, now I really am lost. I thought you were mad because I read your diary, which you would have every right to be… for a while.” His half-hearted chuckle’s strained with relieved confusion. “So, if it’s not that, then what is it?”

God, the misery, desperation, and hope in his voice, the new twinkle of possibility in his beautiful, seeking green eyes is more than even a hardened bitch like me can resist. “I was mad, and no, you shouldn’t have read it, but, if there’s anyone I’d ever confide in, share it with… it’d be you. And, I know you weren’t lying. You did only skim over a page or two. Because, if you’d have read more, you’d know why I shut you out. Why I can’t…” I try to stop it, damn do I try, squeezing my mouth and eyes shut, nostrils flared as I fight for deep, calming breaths, but the tears burn down my cheeks anyway.

“Aw, babe.” He pulls me close, kissing my hair and forehead over and over, “Please don’t cry, Sugar. I can’t stand to see you in tears, makes me crazy. Like, punch babies and kill kittens crazy.” His hold around me tightens. “Let me fix it. I’ll fix it. I’ll do anything for you. I love you so damn much, Presley. So. Damn. Much.”

He does. And he does just right. Screaming, crying, bossy, stubborn, bitching, irrational, playful, horny, snarky… whichever version of me I am, at any given time, he does. Responding exactly how I’d script the man of my dreams to respond. Giving back more than enough, taking what I’m secretly more than willing to share. Challenging and enticing me on every level.

I want to see if I can get his goat. I live to make him laugh. Mad. Growly. Lord knows I love him all growly.

When something, anything, happens, he’s the first person I want to tell.

And there’s only one way to make him finally, truly, understand why I can’t let go and enjoy him forever.

I lift my head from his chest and look up at him, focusing on the center of his pupils rather that the jade oceans of everything I’d kill to keep as mine. “I’m going to say this once, then you’re going to let go of me so I can go get something in my room. I’ll bring it back to you, leave you to it, and when I get out of my bath… please, Sutton… don’t be here.” One more huge inhale, but not so huge to leave time for him to interrupt. “I love you too. I love you like the one and only person I’ll ever love. I, I love you enough to know… it’s fair to you to love you.”

I’m not sure if he’s too shocked to protest, or is cooperating in order to see what comes next, but he lets me leave his arms without a word. And stays silent while I walk to my room, grab my journal and return, handing it to him. “Here, take it. Read it. With permission. And since a bath only takes so long, lemme save you some time. Start on page fifty-two. That’s the part you need to know.”

He still hasn’t so much as flinched, the most beautiful statue ever sculpted, so I lift his arm for him and place the leather-bound insight in his hand.

Then go take a bath.

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