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“That’s fine, Officer Mall Cop Wannabe, you can take your plastic badge and shove it up your ass! You too, Margaret, with your bad Botox prune face! Me and my badass Wonderdog don’t wanna hang in your skanky excuse for a dog park anyway. We’re taking our act uptown, bitches!” Presley screams for all of Georgia to hear, her flailing arms and legs making it difficult to carry her over my shoulder and also corral our dog away from the scene of the crime and to the truck. “You’re lucky Barney there saved ya, Margaret. Lemme catch ya outside and we’ll see what happens!”

“We are outside,” I grunt, hurrying my chain gang away faster.

“Catch me inside then, Granny! I’ll show you misbehaved!”

“Presley, enough,” I growl. “Not trying to go to jail, or bail you out, today. Shut the hell up and get your ass in the truck.” I put her down on her feet and open the driver’s door. “Now.”

“Whose side are you on, Judas?” She huffs, but thankfully, climbs up and into the truck, sliding over to the passenger seat.

“I’m on the side of sane.” I lift Castello in, take off his leash and nudge him toward Presley, then climb behind the wheel and slam the door. “I cannot believe you got us banned from the first damn park we went to, on our first damn visit. What the hell is wrong with you?” I somehow maintain a stoic expression, concentrating on starting the engine and backing out, rather than giving in to the laughter dying to bust out of me. My Hot Shot, so damn feisty, so fucking fascinating. I’d almost rather watch her get all riled up, go to bat for those she loves, than watch her get naked. Almost.

“What’s wrong with me?” she shrieks, madder than a wet hen. Adorable. “What’s wrong with you? Someone attacks our sweet angel dog and you just stand there and do nothing? Thank God I have balls enough for both of us!” My chest rumbles with a low growl, and I’m not sure whether it’s because she’s challenging my manhood… or the fact she referred to Castello as our dog.

“Attacks our dog?” I succumb to my laughter, shoulders shaking and eyes watering in my ridiculous amusement. This woman… I will never tire of trying to guess what the hell she’ll do or say next. “I’m gonna need you to remind me at exactly what point Castello was attacked, ‘cause I musta missed it.”

She snaps to, her glare burning the side of my face. “Are you serious right now? That shriveled bitch and her two mongrels; ringing any bells?”

“Mongrels?” I wheeze, rubbing my eyes with the back of my arms. “Do you mean, yorkies?”

“Shitheads, shitheads,” she enunciates the feigned difference, “call them whatever the hell you want, they still sucked. Just like their owner! First of all, there were two of them, and only one of Castello, so that right there was ganging up on him. And ‘yip, yip, yip,’” I catch her puppet-like hand gestures in my peripheral, “they never shut up. Fuckin’ antagonistic lil’ shits; they bought a ball over, so Castello tried to play with them… what the fuck was he supposed to do? He did nothing wrong; no way was I gonna stand there and listen to that crotchety bitch throw a fit, saying he was aggressive!”

“Yeah, no, I’m pretty sure you showed her the difference; what aggressive really looks like,” I chuckle. “You had it more than handled, no need for me to say a word; not that I’d ever hand a woman her ass. Over some dogs and a ball. You get too worked up, babe.”

“Whatever,” she grumbles, scooping up Castello to hold him close and pepper him with kisses. “I’m sorry your daddy’s a pussy, but don’t worry, Mommy’s got your back.”

She’s too hellbent on giving me shit to realize what she’s saying, but I catch every damn word… and adjust my hard-on accordingly as I slam the truck into park. “Awful mouthy, Hot Shot.”

“God gave me a mouth for a reason— to use it.”

“He sure did.” Her widened eyes fly to mine, filled with recognition; she knows exactly what my tone now means.

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