Page 21 of Elusive

Sutton helps me off his shoulders and we celebrate with whoops and high-fives, taking our deserved bows when the rest of the family applauds.

“We’re unstoppable today. It’s hard as hell to win twice in a row at anything in this family. I’d say that calls for a celebration. Who’s going out with me tonight?” I ask as if interested in everyone’s answer.

“Baby, we down?” JT consults Bellamy, who nods and smiles.

“We’re out, sorry.” Sky frowns. “Judd promised to take me to the movies.”

“And I have to work tonight. Some sleep beforehand would be great too.” Sutton climbs out of the pool and starts drying off… an act far too simple to justify the tingle between my thighs.

In an obligatory tone, Camden — winning some more, think I got his name right — looks at me as he says, “sounds cool. Where we going?”

No need to be glum, Chum. You’ve been an awesome date — not coming near me — allow me to return the favor by working my magic.

I find Uncle Zach’s eyes, already aimed at me and filled with knowing delight. He gives one quick nod, confirming he’s on board.

God, I love my clan — the way we all hold “silent conversations” with each other, and often — we rock.

Zach and I now both peek over at my dad, also always “in the know,” sporting a shit-eating grin and gearing up for the execution of our wordlessly decided mission.

And… Action!

“Y’all should go to Lit, that’d be perfect,” Dad casually tosses it out there, waiting for Uncle Dane to bite. We wait, but there’s not even a nibble, so he slathers more stink on the bait. “That way, Sutton can work and celebrate, plus, I know you’ll all be safe with my people watching you.”

JT opens his mouth, ready to defend his manhood by declaring that he doesn’t need “Dad’s people” watching anyone, he’s got it, but I shoot him the patented “STFU glare” just in time. He closes said mouth, and… cue Zach.

“But what about Brynny? She’s not twenty-one. Neither is Bellamy,” Uncle Z inserts right in the gap laid for him, but his monotonic, for-shit acting could use some work. I’ll advise him later.

“Brynn’s not going to a bar!” Dane booms. There we go… hook’s in his mouth, now we just have to set it deep in his jaw and reel him in the boat.

Enter stage left: the Presley/JT tag-team.

“Uncle Dane, they’ll stamp their hands ‘under twenty-one.’ As if it’s even needed. No one’s gonna serve minors, especially ones related to him, in Daddy’s ba… uh… establishment,” I coerce in my Princess voice.

‘Now, you may talk,’ I tell JT with my bulging eyeballs and subtle nod.

“Yeah, Dad, chill. You know I won’t let anything happen to Brynn, or Bellamy. Sutton and Camden will be there too. I swear, she’ll be fine.” JT seamlessly picks up where I leave off. Synchronized Squading — a true art form.

“Laney, your children are trying to bullshit me!”

“No, Caveman, they’re not.” She sits on his lap and plays with his hair. Atta girl, Aunt… she’s caught what we’re throwing, and that, Dear Uncle Dane, means game, set, match. Poor fool.

That’s three victories. Could I be on a bigger roll today?

“Brynn and Sky haven’t said a word, so it’d just be mychild, and he’s not bullshitting you. He will guard Brynn with his life, but you already know that, as do I. Therefore, she’s going.”

“Maybe she doesn’t want to go.” Dane casts hopeful eyes at Brynn. “Not really your thing, is it, baby girl? You’re probably in the middle of a great book you’re dying to finish, or, weren’t you and your mom talking about some pitching practice earlier? Bet your Pops would love to work with you.”

And then he just stops talking… out of ideas and looking devastated about it.

What happens next is so fast, only those with a keen eye — which means everyone in the yard — would catch it. The sad guilt on her face fades and lil’ Brynny steals a peek at Camden before snapping her focus back to poor, slowly withering in realization, Uncle Dane. “Um, I guess I wouldn’t mind getting to hang out with everyone. Just this once. I can call Pops tomorrow.”

“But… but what about…” He’s got nothing, the last-ditch effort so mournful I almost tear up for him.

“That’s enough.” Aunt Laney puts the kibosh on doomsday. “Brynn’s growing up. Beautifully, I might add. End of story, not the world, Caveman. She’s going with them.”

“It’s started.” Uncle Dane’s head and voice drop impossibly lower. “The last one’s leaving us. One foot out the door. We’re done for, out of babies. Time to join a Bridge or Bunko club and buy our headstones. We’ll need some of those phones with the big buttons too. Jesus. How are your arches? I think mine are okay, but maybe we should grab some of those ortho pad things for our shoes while we’re at it,” he rambles, quite possibly suffering a psychotic break. What the hell is Bunko?

Laney snorts with her giant peal of laughter, kissing his cheek. “Let’s not overreact, babe. We’re still young. In our prime, actually. We both have plenty of energy left to do lots of things, alone, at the spur of the moment, when they’re gone.”

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