“But he has Zaria,” I argued. “He hasn’t lost his bond with her. Wouldn’t that help?”

“When a patient has phantom limb syndrome, does it help that they still have the other limb?”

I shook my head. She had a point.

“No, they still feel the missing piece like it was there, and it slowly drives them into madness. A soul-bond being torn away is quite similar.” Gran exhaled sharply. “But I can’t know for sure without seeing Nyx.”

“I can’t bring him here, and they wouldn’t let you make the trip.”

“No, the council would never allow it.” They were possessive over their teachers in the Forest Kingdom and didn’t like the ones with the most knowledge leaving unless commanded to by the king. If Gran went to the First Kingdom, it might tempt the King to have her stay. “There are older methods, but you’d have to do some digging in the archives.”

“Do you think I could find something worth trying?” I had to do something, even if it only bought Nyx a little more time. Then maybe I could figure out something else.

Gran’s expression turned grave. “Those treatments were abandoned for a reason, Mostly because texts, or parts of them, were lost after the Hundred Years War, and we’ve lost ingredients to extinction too.”

I cursed. “Surely there are samples of even extinct ingredients in our stores? I thought you kept everything?”

“This was before I was alive, Firefly. I’ve preserved as much as I’m able.” She shrugged. “Can’t do it all by myself.”

“I know.” I laughed to myself because she did try.

“Maybe it’s time for you to try your hand at mind magic to heal him?”

“I don’t have the affinity for it, you know that.” I’d never been any good at mind healing. Gran had tried to teach me.

“Not since you’ve melded with your Dragon?”

“He’s not mine!” I shot her a look.

“Have you told him that?” Gran laughed into her tea.

“I don’t belong to anyone!” I huffed.

“I didn’t say you belonged to him. I said he was your dragon.” She shot back, all smug and proud of herself.

“Do you believe my magic could have changed enough to work mind magic?”

“Why would you think anything is impossible, Firefly?” She gave me a knowing look.

“I know it changes when we fly, but I can’t exactly heal Nyx while flying with Jaxus, can I?” I didn’t see the path forward. I set my tea aside and pushed my hair out of my face. “I’d have to let him in further to complete our meld, and how can I do that without losing myself or betraying our kind?”

“We find missing pieces of ourselves in all types of fae. We also give them parts of ourselves we never get back. Sometimes we get a choice, and sometimes we don’t get a choice. The Goddess brings us what she wills.”

“I didn’t get a choice in either.” Giving up on the battle of fighting the strands falling forward, I took my braid out and began to rework it.

“You’ve had your fair share of choices, but no, this one isn’t a choice. I fear it’s already too far gone.” Gran’s voice softened.

My gaze shot to meet hers. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not sure you have anything left to give Casimir with that one around.” Her eyebrows furrowed.

“Gran!”

“What? Your grandfather has been dead for half a decade.I’m allowed to notice a fine male specimen, and that one I’d climb like a tree given the chance!”

Hadn’t I thought the exact same thing when I first saw him? My cheeks flamed and I was so glad Jaxus wasn’t awake to hear any of this. Only then, the stairs creaked, Goddess spare me.

Jaxus walked down the stairs, wearing a massive grin. “Good morning.”