“I gathered that. But that’s not what she was talking about.” I knew there was more.

“They won’t be happy I’m a ryder. They believe that, as healers, our lives belong to the Goddess and to the good of our kind, which means our work should be our main focus.”

“The same could be said of being a ryder,” I argued. “It’s all in service to the Goddess in one way or another. She makes the choices.”

“I know, but pure healing magic is concentrated to so few bloodlines. To preserve it, part of our duty is to marry within our kind and have as many children as possible to make sure we don’t die out.”

I searched her face, connecting the dots. “So they won’t approve of you not coming home one day to get married and make healer babies?”

“I don’t think my betrothed will much care for my being a ryder, no. But as I don’t much care for him, I’m not too concerned.”

“Excuse me?” My heart dropped to my feet, draining the blood from my face.

THIRTY-FOUR

KIERA

Iknew the questions were coming the second the words slipped out of my mouth. I braced myself for the onslaught.

But after I watched the shock flash over his face, I suddenly came over all dizzy and took a step back to steady myself.

He was on me in the blink of an eye, the back of his hand against my neck.

“What?” I asked, my mind fuzzy.

“You don’t look well.” He held my chin and tilted my face up, looking into my eyes. “Let me go get your gran.”

I grabbed his arm before he could step away from me. “No, don’t trouble her.” I wouldn’t insult him and tell him he’d get lost trying to find her treehouse in the dark, but he would. Very few fae who didn’t grow up here ever became truly accustomed to the Forest Kingdom, and we liked it that way.

“But you’re unwell.” He put a hand on my waist, steadying my knees but sending a flash of heat through my stomach.

I shouldn’t like the worry creasing his brows, but it warmed me through. “I just need sleep, that’s all. It’s been a long day.” The anxiety which came with returning to my home an altogether different fae to the one who left had rode on my shoulders the entire flight up here. No matter how many times I told myself they couldn’t force me to marry Casimir, it still felt like an insurmountable obstacle I couldn’t move past. I hadn’t meant to hide it from him, but in the capital, it was a worry I could leave behind. It didn’t exist for me there and I hadn’t known how to talk to Jaxus about it. So now he was blindsided. Or maybe I was reading too much into that, too.

“Which way is your bedroom?” he asked.

I swayed on my feet, realizing my eyes had closed, the tiredness now crashing over me in waves. “We have to go up.”

His fingers tightened on my hip. “Up the stairs?”

“Yes,” I swallowed over and over past a dry mouth, trying to give him directions. “I, um—” I gasped as my feet swept out from under me, throwing my hands out to try to catch myself, grabbing Jaxus’ shirt.

Only I found myself in his arms.

“Up the stairs and then where?” he whispered close to my ear, already taking the stairs two at a time.

I wanted to protest, but I didn’t have the energy. “It’s the only room.” It occurred to me that Gran might have sensed my arrival with her strange woo-woo magic, but she wouldn’t have known I’d have a guest. “I have to make up the other bed,” I said, attempting to climb out of his arms to find some linens.

He cut me off. “Don’t you even start. You’re not doing anything else.”

My figure met the soft mattress, and I sunk into the pillowy top, which I knew Gran had come and stuffed with healing herbs for me. No wonder she’d been here before we arrived. It smelledsoothing and familiar, and I smiled as Jaxus pulled the blankets up to my chin.

There was comfort in his caretaking now that I was used to it. “Thank you.”

“Always.” Soft lips brushed over my forehead, and my breath caught. “Where can I find spare blankets?”

“I—” I couldn’t make my brain work. Words were beyond me.

“I’ll find them.”