He smiled. “Speaking of the kingdoms’ needs, are you ready for this?”
I sucked in a breath. “Not really.”
The whole thing had seemed easy when we discussed it, but actually going out there as a ryder and facing all those battle-hardened warriors I was supposed to stand beside made me feel like a fraud. “What if I make a fool of myself?”
“You won’t.”
“I’m not one of them, though, and they know it. I’m a healer through and through. They will never accept me.”
“You just pulled off something most couldn’t, with all thegrit and courage of any other ryder. But if you weren’t a healer, Jaxus could have died. Being a healer makes you more than most, not less. You have earned your place among the flight, and you have more to offer the kingdoms than most of them put together. Now get out there and show them!”
“Where is Jaxus?” I asked, ignoring his compliments.
“Getting them in line for the training session.”
I groaned. “I thought he would at least let me walk in with him.”
“Is walking in with their general not good enough for you?”
“Fine.” I rolled my eyes, untying my apron and smoothing my braid.
Nyx shook his head. “A healer in leathers, whatever next?”
“Listen, I have to multitask now, okay? If you think I can fit quick changes into my packed schedule, you’re delusional.”
Nyx held his hands up in surrender, laughing, and for the first time in months, it felt genuine.
“Are you doing okay?” I asked.
His smile softened. “Thanks to you, I’m doing much better.”
I sighed with relief for the hundredth time since we figured out the cure. “Good, but you have to talk to us if that changes. It’s a process and we are all here—me, Jaxus, and Zaria—to get you through it. Okay?”
Nyx nodded and pushed off the door frame. “Come on, you badass leather wearing healer, I have to get you to training.”
The flights not currently on patrol gathered once a week on the fields behind the palace for flight training. It was part of the bigger program of training that kept them all battle ready. Weapons, magic wielding and flying were all practiced daily in various classes, but this was the session that brought it all together in flight. And it was very, very public.
While the other sessions were held in much smaller, flight-specific groups, this was for all the serving flights plus the manytrainees who came to watch and learn. Not to mention it was open for anyone in the city to view. My inferiority complex was going to kill me.
“I haven’t had a single weapons class yet,” I hissed at Nyx as we strolled across the training ground towards the assembled dragons and their ryders.
“Relax, we are not focusing on weapons today. This is to assess your melded magic level and your wielding skills in flight. And you have proved yourself in both areas in a real situation. You have nothing to worry about.”
“But they’re all going to watch?”
“They will all be doing their own exercises and won’t have time to gawp at you. Rakan needs to assess our combined powers for the flight records. With so much happening lately Zaria and I have not even been officially assessed for the records, so you’re not alone. We well be right there with you.”
I didn’t feel better. Nyx had no clue about the problems I had even looking some of these flyers in the eye.
“You have to do this. Jaxus can’t fully assert himself as my lieutenant until they see him in action with his ryder. They won’t show him the respect he is due until they have no choice but to bow to his superior power.”
“No pressure then,” I choked.
“For you? None whatsoever. You are ten times the fae that most of these are. And melded with Jaxus, I have no doubt it’s going to be special to watch.”
It was special, but I had no way of knowing how that compared to others.
We approached the ranks of flights, and even my regular fae hearing caught the snickering from the lines. Jaxus met us at the center, shooting a glare towards the tittering.