Page 93 of Embracing Trust

I’ve left one voicemail and two texts with Julia, and she isn’t answering. Of course, I’m not surprised.

Friday night was the blow-up at my parent’s house. Patrick and Lydia went out of town for the weekend, so I spent it sulking alone at the house. Once Monday rolled around, I had to force myself to get out of bed. So far this week, Patrick has had me working with him. I’m assuming he doesn’t trust me to be alone.

I plop down on Patrick’s couch after supper. It’s been nearly a week. This afternoon I saw a therapist and he said I need to continue with the therapy and to give Julia a chance to process the events.

I’ve made so many mistakes and I’m afraid she’ll never trust me again. And if that turns out to be the case, I guess I deserve it. All along there is a little voice in the back of my head telling me to leave her alone—to leave things as they were. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t. I’ve never gotten over her and I never will.

I call Merilee and I’m surprised when she takes my call. She agrees to meet me at a nearby coffee shop.

I arrive at Toffee Coffee and take a booth near the back. I check the time and my fingers tap on the table.

I hope she shows up.

When I’m almost ready to lose hope, ten minutes late, Merilee comes through the door. She spots me in the booth and plops down on the bench across from me. Her heavy purse thuds when she drops it next to her.

“Theonlyreason I’m here is that I care about Julia. If you think you’re going to lie and try to bullshit me, you better think again.” She points her finger at me.

I let out a breath. “No. No bullshitting.”

The waitress stops by our table. “What can I get you tonight?”

Merilee orders an iced coffee and I get an iced tea.

“So, what’d she say?” I have to hear how Julia is feeling about this.

Merilee rolls her eyes and huffs. She holds up fingers as she counts off my offenses. “Well, for starters, you’re engaged. Two, your fiancé is pregnant and three that same pregnant fiancé is living at your parents’ house.” Her eyes narrow. “Did I miss anything, Romeo?”

“Well, first of all, I’m not engaged.”

Merilee sits back in the booth and folds her arms across her chest. “I warned you. You better knock off the bullshit with me or I’ll hit that door so fast your head will spin.”

I explain everything to Merilee—not holding back a single detail. I tell her how I met Aubree, about my time in Afghanistan, and how Aubree showed up at my parents’ house. I tell her all the ways I’ve changed—all the things I’m doing to change even more.

“I haven’t been dealing with things like I should. If things have been too difficult to handle, I’ve just chosen not to handle it.” I take a drink of my tea.

Merilee shakes her head. “So, you’re not marrying this woman?”

“No.” I look Merilee square in the eye when I give my answer.

“Then why did your mom and Aubree tell Julia you’re engaged? I don’t get it.”

“Aubreewantsto be engaged. She wants to marry me, and we raise the baby together. I don’t love her, and I’ve told her that. She has completely manipulated my parents into thinking we’re engaged. And of course, Mom was so freaking excited about having a new daughter-in-law and especially having a grandkid, she went along with all of it.”

Merilee wrinkles her nose. “Why didn’t you just tell your parents you’re not engaged?”

“I tried.” I close my eyes tightly. I grip my iced tea glass in frustration. “I didn’t try hard enough though. This could have all been avoided and I know it’s my fault.”

Merilee studies me. “So, what are your plans for raising your child?”

I take a long drink. “Honestly, I’m not sure if the baby is mine or not.”

“You’re really in a mess.”

I sigh. “I am.”

“What now? I suppose you think I’ll go to Julia and tell her to give you another chance? Is that what this is about?”

“Not necessarily, but I want you in my corner.”

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