Page 83 of Embracing Trust

Ryan

I take one final drag off the cigarette before I extinguish the butt in the sand-filled coffee can on my brother’s porch.

I need to quit with the smokes. I’m killing my lungs but smoking somehow brings comfort to me—just like it did in Afghanistan.

It’s past midnight. Can’t sleep. No nightmares—just couldn’t fall asleep. I’ve had four one-on-one therapy sessions with the doctor Patrick and Lydia recommended and it’s helping with the nightmares. The doctor also prescribed some medication, but it’s too early to tell if it’ll work. It’s been a relief to not only talk about my time in Afghanistan, but also the shitshow going on with Aubree. Also known as my double life.

The attorney is still working on my case. Hopefully, I’ll get the news soon that the court will order Aubree to take a DNA test. In the meantime, the therapist has helped me set up a plan to talk to my parents and Aubree—to set everything straight. That will be happening tomorrow at dinner. That’s why I need to get some sleep—so I’m ready to face them with the truth. I’m ready to come clean with Julia too and move forward. Thank goodness for the therapist. I know I couldn’t do all this without him.

I head to bed, and it doesn’t take me long to fall asleep. I have a restful night and as always, I’m awake early and go for my morning run.

Before work, Mom asked me to stop by the house to help Dad move some furniture.

I hope they’re not moving furniture around on account of Aubree and the baby.

I dress for a day of work, grab a protein bar, and drive to my parent’s house.

“Good morning, Ryan,” Mom greets me as she hands me a hot cup of coffee.

“Thanks.” I lay my cell phone and wallet on the edge of the countertop so I can take the cup from her.

“Have you had breakfast yet?” Mom asks.

I hold up a hand to Mom. “A protein bar. I’m good, thanks.”

Aubree comes into the kitchen and smiles when she sees me. She hurries toward me and throws her arms around my neck.

“Careful. Coffee,” I grumble as I push her away and set my coffee on the countertop behind me.

She turns to Mom. “Hi, Kate.”

“Good morning.” Mom rushes around the kitchen as she puts a stray plate in the dishwasher and returns a box of cereal to the cupboard.

“Good news!” Aubree says as she stands on her tiptoes and leans against my chest.

I peer down into her brown eyes.

What’s she up to now?

“I’ve been looking for apartments for us in Hamilton.”

I wince and fold my arms across my chest. “Excuse me?”

She is taking this drama to the next level, and she’s one hell of a pain in my ass.

“Oh, Ryan,” Mom admonishes. “She’s just looking and it’s not she’s put a deposit on anything before you’ve seen it.” Mom wipes the kitchen table and dunks her dishrag back into the soapy water in the sink.

This is insane and there’s no sense in getting into everything now. This is a conversation for dinner tonight—where I’ll finally get my game on and get my life back. This has gone on long enough.

“I’ll be here later, and we’ll talk about everything,” I say to Aubree as I narrow my eyes. I push past her and grab my coffee cup before it gets cold.

Mom sips her coffee. “Aubree is finally starting to feel better.”

I nod and take a drink of my coffee.

Dad comes through the doorway, gives Mom a peck on the cheek and, turns to me.

“Morning. You ready to give me hand? I have an early meeting, so this won’t take long. Just need a hand.”

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