Page 56 of Embracing Trust

I shake my head and snort. “I’ve never thought much about it, but let’s get some sleep, okay? I think you’ll feel better after that.”

“I bet I could keep it up all night.”

I slide into bed with him. “Just close your eyes.”

I turn off the lamp and before I’m even situated in a comfortable position on my side of the bed, the sounds of his soft snores assure me he’s out for the night.

Hours later, I’m awakened as Ryan thrashes in my bed. He’s on his side facing the other way and I rest my palm on his back. His skin is hot and sweaty. I’m startled when he lets out a loud yell and then speaks, but I can’t understand what he’s saying. He thrashes and his arms flail. I back away when his limbs move around uncontrollably.

I cringe when he calls out in my dark bedroom. “Watch out!”

He shoots up, sitting upright, takes a deep breath, and falls back on the pillow. I lay in silence for a moment.

“Ryan?” My voice is a whisper.

No response. Only a light snore. He’s still. No more thrashing or flailing.

I take a deep breath, scoot toward him, and rest my hand on his back. He scoots back toward me and pulls my arm around his waist. Moments later, I’m relieved when I hear his soft snores and feel his relaxed body as it leans against me.

My heart thumps in my chest—the sound pulsating in my ears. I take in a few deep breaths as I try to relax. After a bit of a struggle to calm down, eventually I succumb to sleep.

***

I open my eyes and the sun is shining through the corners of my curtains. I carefully remove my arm from around Ryan, so I don’t wake him. I lay still and listen to his rhythmic breathing, and I let out a sigh. Thank goodness he’s getting some good rest now.

I slip out of bed, get dressed, and pad through the hallway to my kitchen.

I text Patrick and let him know Ryan is okay and spent the night at my house. Patrick replies almost immediately and thanks me for letting him know.

I live for my coffee in the morning, so I brew a pot. Once my morning drink is ready, I pour some into my favorite coffee cup and head out the French doors onto my deck. I stand by the railing and appreciate the quiet beach, void of any beachgoers except two joggers in the distance. This is one of my favorite times of the day. The beach is always quiet at this time, and I have some of my best, most creative ideas.

The sun is warm on my skin and the air is salty and humid. I plop down in my deck chair and take a sip of the hot coffee.

Although Ryan was drunk when he fell asleep, his behavior is concerning. I’ve heard things about returning soldiers having issues with nightmares. He’s stayed over before and slept fine. Everyone has a bad dream occasionally, but the way he shouted and his body was out of control. I was afraid if I got too close, he might hurt me—not intentionally, of course. I’m not even sure he knows what happened. The crazy thing is, he didn’t wake up—he just kept sleeping.

I refill my coffee and when I’m enjoying my second cup, Ryan slides open the French door and steps out onto the deck.

“Hey,” he says as he sits in the chair next to me.

“Hey. Are you up for some coffee?”

Ryan shakes his head.

“How about a bottle of water?”

He nods. “Sure.”

I step into the kitchen, grab his water, and return to my chair on the deck. I hand him the water, and he takes a long swallow.

His voice is soft and gravely. “Thanks.”

We sit quietly for a few moments as he takes a few more drinks of water.

“Sorry about last—”

“You’re fine. The guys weren’t sure about calling Patrick, so they brought you here. I’ve been in touch with Patrick this morning and let him know you’re here.”

“Thanks.”

---