Page 17 of Embracing Trust

He shakes his head. “Again, what the hell?”

“Not a habit,” I assure him. “Just a once in a while kinda thing.”

Mark finally closes his mouth and manages to take a drag off his own cigarette and continues to stare.

I blow out my own cloud of smoke that lingers in the sultry air. It hangs above my head like my past—following me. “What?”

Mark continues his close examination of my actions. “What the hell happened over there, brother?”

My heart pounds as the adrenaline courses through my veins. I let out an audible sigh and cast my glance in another direction. “Shit went down.” I meet Mark’s gaze. “My unit lost some guys…roadside bombing. I wasn’t with ‘em that day.”

That’s enough and more than I’ve said since I’ve been home. Please don’t ask me any questions. I don’t want to go there.

My chest constricts like I’m being gripped by a snake as my heartbeat accelerates and sweat gathers on my upper lip.

Mark takes a step toward me and gives me a firm pat on the back. “You’ll get through.”

I give him a light punch in the bicep. “Thanks, man.”

“I’m sure there isn’t much I can do, but if you ever wanna talk.”

Coming from Mark, it means a lot. He’s not the kind of guy who puts his feelings out there.

I nod, a lump forms in my throat, and I swallow hard. “Thanks,” I choke out.

Although Mark can be a jerk sometimes, this guy has been a good friend since middle school. We met at a summer sports clinic the summer after seventh grade. Both being the competitive assholes that we still are to this day, we bent over backward trying to impress our 16-year-old clinic day leader, Mindy. She was every 13-year-old’s wet dream with her red hair and perfect figure. That summer, Mark and I went to movies, enjoyed the swimming pool, and he introduced me to a few of his friends. He also pointed out the girls at the pool who he thought were hot. I didn’t see any of the girls I knew from St. Mary’s at the pool, but I got a new appreciation for the girls whodidn’t attend St. Mary’s. And Mark was right—there was a lot to notice. I’m sure some of the girls at St. Mary’s were looking good too, but they weren’t at the pool teasing me in their filled-out bikini tops.

Once I hit eighth grade, I started pushing to get out of the parochial system. My parents were adamant that I continue to Holy Cross Academy for high school. Besides vehemently expressing their concern over the supposed unsatisfactory education I would receive at Claremont, they also insisted I would be surrounded by kids who had already formed friendships and I would be alone. In the end, Dad gave in after several high school coaches reached out to us about my sprint times. The folks were relieved I was making new friends and wouldn’t end up at public school not knowing anyone.

“My cousin still asks about you,” Mark says with a grin and blows out a puff of smoke.

I shake my head. “Doubtful.”

“Nah, I haven’t seen her in years. Mom said she got married, but it didn’t last. She was fooling around on him.”

“Surprise, surprise.”

When I returned home from basic training at Christmas, before I went to my Advanced Individual Training, Mark set me up on a date with his cousin who was visiting with her family from New York. At that point, I was bitter and still licking my wounds. It had only been a week since I’d tried seeing Julia but instead found her with that asshole, Jeff. I figured letting off a little steam with Mark’s cousin would get Julia out of my system once and for all. I’d have a little fun with this girl and take off and do my thing with school. Going into the date with my v-card still intact, I wasn’t expecting Mark’s cousin to be quite so experienced. Or willing. We had dinner and when she invited me to come back to her hotel room, I thought she might let me get to third base. I wasn’t expecting to score a home run. This girl was wild and uncensored. It was quite the evening. Although it wasn’t Julia, I was still relieved to head off to AIT with a cut in my v-card.

I crush my smoke in the bucket and chuckle.

Mark furrows his eyebrows. “What’s so funny?”

“Just thinking about your cousin.”

Mark shakes his head with a grin. “Honestly? She never said another word about you, man.” Mark rubs the back of his neck. “Apparently quite unmemorable.”

I blow out the smoke above our heads. “You’re an ass.”

The back door slams, and two women walk toward us as they light their cigarettes.

Mark points toward the door. “Wanna do some shots?”

“Nah, I drove.” I grab him by the arm and give him a shake. “Don’t let me stop you.”

We walk to the venue and pass the women.

“Hi, honey,” Mark says to the blond and gets a giggle from her.

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