Page 81 of Embracing Trust

“This.” I lower myself onto his shaft and both of us let out a small groan. “I’m on the pill now.”

“Yeah?”

I nod and continue with the open-mouthed kisses to his neck, his chin, his ears. He grasps my hips and pumps into me. I wiggle my hips until we find our perfect rhythm.

Ryan blows out a shallow breath. “This isn’t gonna take long.”

I readjust myself until I can feel him in just the right spot. Skin on skin. No barriers. It only takes a few pumps until my toes curl and my body pulsates. I can’t help myself and I’m surprised when I call out his name. He grasps my hips tighter and holds me in place as he spills into me.

We hold each other for a long time. Silence between us. He releases his hold and I climb off and snuggle into his warm chest.

“I trust you,” I whisper.

He grips me more tightly.

“I loved you all those years ago and nothing’s changed.” He runs his fingers through my hair. “I’m still in love with you.”

“I love you too.”

The rhythmic ebb and flow of the water as it meets the sandstone lulls me to sleep. I wake to Ryan’s gentle snores and am pacified just being in his embrace. Ryan wakes when I run my hand up and down his chest.

We gather our towels, wrap ourselves up and walk to my house. When we reach the patio, the firepit holds a few smoldering logs. The light breeze puts a slight chill in the air. After Ryan extinguishes the fire, we enjoy my outdoor shower as we wash away the sand.

We dry each other with some heavy white towels I keep stored near the shower. Once we’re inside, without saying a word, Ryan leads me to my bedroom. The towels drop to the floor and we snuggle in my bed.

For the first time in my life, my heart is open and unguarded. I let someone in. Light is shining into a place that’s been dark for years.

We are awake for hours as we make gentle and unhurried love with the dim light of the moon shining through my window.

Trusting Ryan is like finding shelter from a storm. It’s my safe place. I’m warm and protected—not afraid anymore.

Chapter Thirty-four

Julia

I’m still floating on the clouds after my romantic night with Ryan. Hearing the words I’ve wanted to hear for a few months now—he loves me—makes my heart flutter every time I think of him.

He’ll be here any minute to pick me up. We’re heading to Dale’s Ales—one of our favorite sports bars in Hamilton. We’re meeting up with Mark, Brad, Kevin, and Amy. Merilee is bringing her new boyfriend to join us.

Although I haven’t met him yet, Merilee has been telling me how sweet and attentive he is. Curtis Craig is nearly forty—twelve years Merilee’s senior—and a professor at South Texas State University. He isn’t the kind of guy Merilee usually goes for, but maybe a change is good. She doesn’t come right out and admit it, but she’s about given up on Mark. Poor Merilee. She’s talking about finding a guy who’s serious and ready to settle down and Mark isn’t ready for that. He may never grow up. My heart breaks for my best friend, but I understand she can’t wait around for Mark forever.

When Ryan and I arrive at Dale’s, our friends are seated at a table. Merilee and Curtis are seated on the end with Mark, Brad, and a woman I don’t know seated between them. Ryan and I take seats across from Curtis and Merilee. Kevin and Amy wave from the other end of the table on our side.

Introductions are made. Being the gentleman he is, Ryan stands and shakes hands with Mark’s date Nicole along with Curtis who remains seated.

That seems rude that Curtis wouldn’t stand and return the handshake.

Merilee looks stunning. Her long dark hair cascades around her shoulders in soft curls. She struggles with her hair so it would have taken her hours to get those curls. She’s wearing a lacy pink top with a lightweight sweater. She looks adorable. I give her a grin and her smile lights up the room.

My friend is happy and that makes me happy.

Without being too obvious, I observe Mark and Nicole. Talk about a night of crazy dates, Nicole is dressed somewhat conservatively in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Her chest is normal-sized and not falling out of her shirt—a definite change for Mark. She’s talking to Brad, Kevin, and Amy and they seem interested in the conversation.

Ryan taps my shoulder and I lean into him. “What’s with Mark?”

I turn to him and grin. “I was just thinking the same thing.”

“When I shook her hand, she actually said, ‘it’s nice to meet you’ and she told me she’s a student working on her master’s degree.”