Page 79 of Embracing Trust

My heart races—practically ready to launch out of my chest. Adrenaline pulses through my entire body and I let out a squeal.

I fan my face with my hand as I try to calm myself down.

Oh my gosh! I can’t wait to share this with Ryan. And with Lucy.

Besides being a great mentor, Lucy has been my biggest cheerleader. We first met when she contacted me after seeing my work at her son’s office. I’d done some nature shots for him. Lucy invited me to bring some samples to her shop. She signed me on that day and displayed five of my best photos. They sold quickly and she wanted more. And, as they say, the rest is history. I’ve been selling my photos at Lucy’s shop for several years.

Ryan’s been encouraging about my photos and my career. I’ve discussed some of my concerns with him and he’s been positive and has emboldened me to give Lucy more of a variety of abstracts. She’s been pleased with what I’ve been submitting.

Winning this contest erases every doubt I’ve had, every insecurity about my ability to take photos—and earn a living—with nature photography. It’s been my goal to eventually move away from family photos and venture into this area. I’ll never give up family photos altogether, but my goal is more free time. Eventually, I want to get married and be able to devote time to that life and not be so tied down with appointments.

I call Ryan. I ask him to come over for the evening because I want to share my exciting news in person—not over the phone. The photo contest isn’t the only surprise I want to share with him.

It’s a special occasion, so I put on a sexy navy-blue dress with a plunging neckline. It’s casual—not grocery store casual, but a night at the club casual. I slip on a pair of ballet flats. I spend time on my hair and makeup.

When I open the door for Ryan, he looks tired—not the bright eyes that I’m used to.

“Hey, you. Come in.” I wrap my arms around him, and he squeezes me. When I look up into his eyes, he smiles.

“I’ve missed you.” His soft lips meet mine in a long kiss. “You feel so good.” When I step away, his eyes blaze with desire.

“I have dinner in the oven,” I say as I take Ryan by the arm and lead him to the living room couch.

“And my beautiful girlfriend cooks too? I’m one lucky guy.” He grins.

Tears begin to well up behind my eyes, but I manage to keep them away. All of the tension in my body lifts like a dark cloud that makes way for the sun.

Ryan’s eyebrows narrow. “What’s the matter, Babe. You look like you’re about ready to cry.”

I throw my arms around his neck and the tears flow as they soak Ryan’s shirt. “I’ve been so worried,” I admit. “You’ve been so. . . so distant lately.”

Ryan pulls away from me and looks into my eyes. “I know and I’m sorry about everything.” He shakes his head. “We need to talk. I have some things I need to tell you.”

I nod.

“When I got back to North Carolina from Afghanistan, I got involved—”

Buzzzzzz.

I hop up from the couch. “Sorry. I don’t want to burn the dinner.”

I scurry into the kitchen and pull the garlic bread out of the oven. I made spaghetti sauce from scratch and it’s simmering on the stove. Ryan steps up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.

“Smells delicious.”

He helps bring our food to the table. We chat during dinner about nothing in particular and I love seeing this side of him. He’s so much more relaxed, even making some jokes. I can’t stop smiling.

When I bring out dessert, I share the good news about the photo contest.

“What? That’s great, Jules. Congratulations!” He holds his beer bottle up to mine and we clank them together. “What’d I tell you? Did I not tell you?”

I grin. “You did.”

“You just gotta believe in yourself.”

Although I haven’t received the official paperwork from the gallery, I give Ryan what information I do have, and he agrees to accompany me to Denver for the awards ceremony. My heart has grown wings and I’m happier than I’ve been in weeks.

Once dinner is over and the kitchen is cleaned, we go outside, and Ryan starts a fire in the firepit. He pulls our chairs close together, takes a seat on one and pats the vacant chair. I sit down and snuggle as his woodsy scent floats on the breeze and grazes my senses.

---