Page 106 of Embracing Trust

Mom visibly cringes and bites her bottom lip. “So, you possibly impregnated a woman you had absolutely no intention of having a future with. Is that what I’m hearing?”

“That sums it up.”

Mom scoffs. “Well, that’s certainly not the way you were raised underthisroof.”

Dad sighs and nods his head toward the front door. “Why don’t you let me talk to Ryan for a bit?”

Mom stands from the chair and shakes her head. She points her finger in my direction. “Bad decisions lead to bad consequences. You certainly didn’t use good judgment.”

“I know, Mom.”

My reply only seems to frustrate her more. She stomps into the house and the front door closes with a slam.

Dad sits back in his chair and crosses one ankle over his knee. “Why don’t you talk to me about everything?”

I tell Dad about my mental state when I returned from Afghanistan and how Aubree was there for me. I’m honest with him about finding comfort and an escape from my problems when I was with her. I reiterate my acknowledgment of my responsibility if the baby is mine.

“I’ve talked to you and your brothers since the time you were twelve about this kind of thing. A few bad choices and you may end up financially responsible for this child until they’re eighteen.” Dad shakes his head. “I don’t understand how you couldn’t have more self-control and think of how your actions could turn into something like this.”

I shrug. There isn’t much to say.

“And you may not even be the father? Where’d you meet this woman anyway?”

“That isn’t important.”

“How many other women did you—?”

“Dad.” I raise my voice more than I intend. “Please, stop.”

“Well, if you’re going around acting like some out-of-control teenager with hormones and there’s a chance you have other children, you might want to think about that.”

When Dad gets this upset, he always goes off on his little tangents, but I can’t let myself get fixated on his outbursts. I need to keep this conversation going in the right direction.

“I screwed up, okay? All I can do is take responsibility for it and that’s what I’m trying to do.”

Mom steps out onto the porch and takes her seat next to Dad.

“I was just telling Ryan he might want to think about who else will come forward from his days in the Army.”

“With more pregnancies?” Mom wrinkles her nose and covers her mouth. “What about diseases? Did that ever cross your mind?”

I sit up straighter and cross my arms across my chest. “Mom, I always use protection.”

Why did I just say that?

Mom scowls. “Oh, Ryan.” She shakes her head. “So, you’ve had multiple partners?”

I take a deep breath. “I know my choices haven’t been what you wanted for me, but I had to go and make my own way. That’s why I joined the Army. I’m sorry if I’ve been a disappointment to you.”

“You’ve not been a disappointment, son,” Dad acknowledges.

“I need to start living my own life and I hope you can accept that.”

“When did we ever stop you from living your own life?” Mom crosses her arms across her chest. “Sounds like you’ve been out living it just fine.”

Telling Mom that I feel like they’ve always stifled my growth will not help me win them over on this.

“I don’t want to join your agency, Dad. I never have. I really like the work I’m doing with Patrick. It’s more along the lines of how I see my future—not sitting behind a desk selling insurance. Patrick’s offered me a bigger role in the company, and I want to attend community college.”

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