Page 1 of Embracing Trust

Chapter One

Julia

As I sit in the pew at St. Paul’s, I take a deep breath, hoping to calm myself. I run my hands down the skirt of my red satin dress as I wait with my friends for the other members of the bridal party to show up. This dress with the sweetheart neckline and hem just above the knee, and the flowing skirt was expensive as hell, but I want to look my best for my friend’s wedding rehearsal. I take a deep breath, hold in my stomach, and try to push out my chest. At least the push-up bra helps a bit. My hands shake as I take frequent glances toward the door in the back of the sanctuary where he’ll enter. My heartbeat works in double time.

It’s been six years since I’ve seen my high school sweetheart, Ryan McCormick. Six years since he left for the Army and broke my heart. My first love—therealkind that makes your heart soar and in practically every waking minute, occupies your thoughts. The kind that makes you sit around and daydream.

Just thinking about him—even now—still makes my heart flutter. The minute I saw him at the fall bonfire in ninth grade, I was immediately smitten. Even in blue jeans, a sweatshirt, and a goofy stocking cap pulled over his light brown hair, he certainly got my attention. I wasn’t the only one taking notice at Claremont High School. Ryan turned a lot of heads with his tall, muscular build and a handsome face that was meant for magazine covers. He spent time in the school’s weight room, and it wasn’t unusual for the female population to clamor around after school, waiting for him to walk home.

His swagger down the hallways of our school exuded confidence. He was tenacious in both sports and academics. I followed his high school track career—before he even knew who I was.

By the time he was a sophomore, he was already breaking school records on the track. He was a regular feature to Friday night football games, playing cornerback on our team. I thought we had everything until we didn’t. He left for the Army—practically at a sprinter’s pace. He’s the man to who I’ve compared every relationship since our breakup.

“Calm down,” my best friend Merilee says as she bumps her shoulder into mine.

I turn to her, my eyes narrowed. “What am I doing?”

“Turning around and gawking at the door.” Merilee laughs. “Waiting for your man-meat-on-a-stick.”

I nudge her with my elbow. “You’re disgusting.” I turn in my pew to face forward.

Merilee Parker has been my best friend from the time I attended Claremont Middle School in the second semester of eighth grade. Although I didn’t have much to smile about in those early days of our middle school friendship, Merilee’s carefree attitude and sense of humor have kept me laughing ever since. Merilee’s joy for life and her bubbly personality is contagious. She’s spirited, spontaneous, and adventurous where I’m more of the cautious and deliberate one in the friendship.

Merilee sits up straighter and looks behind us. She lets out a squeal. “He just walked in.” She chuckles. “Man-meat-on-a-stick at eight o’clock,” she says out of the side of her mouth—like she’s going to be inconspicuous in her effort to give me the play-by-play of his entrance. Inconspicuous? Merilee? Hardly. Her eyebrows raise. “Mmm, girl,” she says as she watches Ryan enter the sanctuary.

Without wanting to appear too anxious, I slowly turn to see what Merilee thinks is the man-meat-on-a-stick. Damn, she’s right, and what a sight he is. What a damn beautiful sight. He looks older, of course, and more mature. The royal blue dress shirt fits snugly on his well-defined broad chest and muscular biceps. His once medium-length brown hair is now a military haircut. And a tie?

Holy shit. I’ve never seen him in a tie.

My breath catches and my stomach flutters, overtaken by a mob of butterflies.

I’m going to die. What did he do while he was gone? Lift Army tanks or something? Geez, look at the biceps on him.

My hands tremble and I wring my fingers in my lap. I’m going to ruin my lipstick if I don’t stop biting my lip.

“Am I right or am Iright?” Merilee asks as we both stare at my former boyfriend as he ambles down the aisle.

“Come on in,” Kevin, the groom-to-be, calls to Ryan and walks halfway up the aisle to meet his friend. They greet one another in a firm hug. Once they break the hug, Kevin gives Ryan a few strong pats to the back, and they take a seat in the first row.

I try not to stare, but I can’t keep my eyes off Ryan. He’s chatting with Kevin, smiling, and laughing as they talk. As Ryan listens to Kevin, my heartthrob smiles, and his eyes dance. He still has those laugh lines around his eyes. He is so handsome in that tie.

How am I going to get through this? No clue. I wasn’t expecting this. My mouth is so dry, it feels like I swallowed a package of cotton balls and tried rinsing them down with sand.

Even his muscles have muscles. And his back? Oh, he’s definitely been lifting tanks. Damn.

The minister counts the group members. “Are we missing anyone, Kevin?”

“Yeah, we’re missing a groomsman. I just got a text though and he’s on his way.”

And speaking of that devil, Mark White strides in with a confident gait. His dark hair and striking blue eyes come into view as he saunters down the aisle. He approaches the minister and initiates a firm handshake.

Always the center of attention.

He turns to find Kevin, Ryan, and Brad, another friend in our group, as they stand from their front-row pew. After handshakes, hugs, and overzealous greetings are exchanged, Mark grabs Ryan by the neck and rubs a hand through Ryan’s nearly non-existent hair.

These four were the best of friends in high school. They spent every weekend together either hanging out at someone’s home or cruising around town. They were always together in high school and earned the nickname “The Four Musketeers.”

Amy, Kevin’s bride, and our high school friend enters the sanctuary and hurries to greet us, her huge smile practically showing off every tooth in her mouth. “Hey, guys.” She grabs onto my forearm and squeezes. “I can’t believe this is it,” she squeals. “There’s been a small change of plans, but it should be fine.”

---