Page 28 of Filthy Liar

I’m as exhausted as I am satisfied.

Falling asleep, I dream of Humble. He consumes my thoughts, my body, and my soul. When my alarm sounds, I sit straight up, my breathing coming out in heavy pants. It’s starting to grow dark outside, but I feel much better than I did earlier.

When my stomach growls, I place my hand against my belly. The pangs fill me, but there isn’t much I can do about them right now. I need money for groceries. I need food.

I’ve had orgasms, I’ve had rest, and now it’s time for me to make money for food.

Glancing down at my phone, I hopefully search the screen and notifications for anything from Humble. There is nothing. I shouldn’t be surprised or upset, but that doesn’t mean I’m not because I very much am.

Tossing my device onto the bed, I make my way to the bathroom to shower and change for work. I stand in front of my mirror as I wrap my fingers around the hem of Humble’s soft cotton T-shirt but pause at the sight of my reflection.

I don’t hate what I see. I’m satisfied and happy—hopeful even. But there is something else lurking behind my gaze. And as I finger the hem of this shirt, I know it has to do with this.

Humble wanted me covered.

I should probably be angry about that, but it didn’t bother me too much. Now that I’m looking at myself and I’m alone, I wonder if I should have been upset and bothered. It wasborderline controlling but not completely unreasonable. I can’t help but wonder how he’s going to feel about my job, though.

Then I decide I don’t care what he thinks about my job. There isn’t anything else I’m qualified for. I haven’t really led the kind of life where I learned a trade. My life was going to be marrying one of the men in my family’s organization and having their babies.

When I left home, it was with nothing, and I’ve been surviving. Never thriving. Now that I have this opportunity with a free place to live, I should be working on the thriving part of life, but I’m not there yet, and I’m not sure I will ever be.

Even if this house sells, I’ll have some money, but it won’t be enough to live off for long. It would be enough to get me to another state, maybe pay a down payment on an apartment and float me for a few months, but it wouldn’t last forever, and then I would be right back where I am right now.

Hungry and hopeless, but even worse than I am now, I would be alone, too. Humble is special. I know he is. This feels so much bigger than just a one-night stand. I can’t describe it because I’m not exactly sure what I’m feeling, but I know it’s big.

Pulling off the shirt, I decide to ignore my worries. There is nothing I can do about it right now. If whatever this is with Humble is just an infatuation, I can sell the house and move on with my life.

I snort as the warm water from the shower washes over my body. Closing my eyes, I let out a heavy sigh. Move on with my life. What an absolute joke. What life? Working in some bar, in retail, as a secretary? I feel as if I’ve done it all, and none of it is anything I can make a living for myself.

It’s all minimum wage.

Finishing my shower, I put on the little black dress the owner of the bar asked me to, and I head to work. It doesn’t take melong to get there. When I drive by the bakery, I pull into the spot across the street and look at the glass windows.

I find Spencer right away. She’s got her head tipped back as she laughs at something Shawn and Ryan have said. I envy them. They look so happy. There is a knock on my car window, and my entire body jumps as I look at the person who tapped.

It’s one of the girls I have hung out with a few times at the café. Rolling down my window, I look up at her. Ariya. I open my mouth to ask her if everything is okay, but she doesn’t give me the opportunity.

Instead, she starts to speak immediately.

“I heard you were hooking up with a Dark Horse,” she states, then she jerks her chin toward the bakery. “They’re part of them.”

I stare at her, unsure of what to say in response, but she doesn’t notice my confusion because she keeps talking. “Those men are dangerous. You seem like a girl who could be taken advantage of pretty easily. I thought I should let you know.”

Her words are seemingly full of concern, but I know that tone. She’s jealous. She’s not warning me off for me. She’s warning me off for her.

“I’m a big girl, Ariya. I can handle myself.”

She narrows her eyes on me. Then she presses her lips together as she shakes her head once. “Well, since you know everything, I hope you know that they fuck who they want, when they want, how they want, and leave their old ladies at home while they do it. Have fun being cheated on.”

I watch as she spins around and walks into the café. I shake off her words, but I can’t deny that they seep into my brain anyway. There’s no way that someone says something like that and you can just let it roll off your back.

Seeds are planted with those words.

Shifting my car intoReverse, I back out of the parking spot, the girls at the bakery forgotten, and head into work. I try to shake off Ariya’s words so I can focus on my new job. I can’t think about what she said to me. I can’t think about anything. I need to forget it all and concentrate on my brand-new job.

So that’s what I do.

I park in the parking lot and unfold from the seat. Smoothing down my tight black dress, I suck in a deep breath and head for the front door. This is it. This is my chance to have something. A career. A job. Something to put food in my fridge.

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