Page 12 of Filthy Savage

“You’re making promises for me?” I ask. “Seems pretty forward of you.”

He snorts as if he thinks I’ve asked something funny. I’m not saying that his promises are wrong. I’m old enough to know who and what I want. I also don’t believe that Spencer walking back into this club is by mistake. I don’t want to go into anything with the idea that I’ll be fucking someone else.

She’s what I want.

However, I also know that what happened between us is fucked up.

I fucked it up, and even though she’s ten years older now, I can’t help the guilt that still consumes me over it. I’m not sure I will ever be able to forgive myself, and at the same time, I don’t think I can be around her and not want to be inside of her.

So, it’s all a conundrum that I don’t think I can pretend doesn’t exist. “I’m making promises for you, Brew. Because I know who you are and what you want. Don’t try and act like you don’t give a fuck.”

Clearing my throat, I lift my hand and run my fingers through my hair. “At the risk of sounding like a complete fucking dick, how do you know what I want?”

Atomic lets out a burst of laughter. “Brother,” he says, “I see the way you look at me and Ryan. Nobody is that fucking blind.You want it, too, no matter what you say. And you deserve it. I also know that she’s the one who got away.”

“She was too fucking young,” I grind out.

Atomic nods once then turns to the window again before he shifts his attention back to meet mine.

“She was,” he says, agreeing with my words, as he fucking should. “But just because it was the wrong time then doesn’t mean it isn’t the right time now. I won’t say anything else, but there’s a reason you’re single. There’s a reason she’s here.”

“You think really highly of this situation,” I say, chuckling. “But I’ve made it clear. Got no woman, got no plans to get one.”

Without a response, Atomic walks past me, reaching for the door. He jerks it open and takes a step out of the room and into the hallway before he stops. I watch him turn his head, looking over his shoulder at me, his eyes finding mine.

“You can maybe talk yourself into the idea that you don’t want a woman, but you can’t talk me into it. And you want that one. The one who came to the clubhouse all pissed off, driving a stupid-as-fuck electric car. The one who lives in the city of fuckin’ weird and is trying to pretend to be something she ain’t. You want it all with Spencer. And you want to own her ass.”

He leaves me standing in the middle of my bedroom in silence, shocked as fuck that he’s said what he has… and that he’s right about it all. Once he’s gone, I shove my hand in my pocket and pull out my phone.

I want to call her, but I can’t. I want to go see her, but I don’t—won’t… whatever. I’m not quite sure what the fuck it is that I am going to do with her. But as much as I don’t want to admit that my brother is right about anything, I know that he is about this.

I want it all.

I want to own her.

Every inch of her.

CHAPTER

FIVE

SPENCER

My eyes flutter open,and I stare at the ceiling. There is a small brown ring in the middle of the ceiling above the bed, which makes me think that there is possibly a leak somewhere. I’m sure if there was, Ophelia would have had it fixed. She’s never really sat around on stuff like that, not that I can remember from when I was a kid.

Sitting up, I let out a heavy sigh. The first thing I do is reach for my phone. I know you’re not supposed to look at your phone or anything electronic like that first thing in the morning. I read an article that said it basically has something to do with your brain and hinders cognitive functions. But that doesn’t stop me from checking my emails and my social media within minutes of my eyes opening.

Thankfully, I have a couple of new jobs that have booked while I was sleeping, which will keep me busy today so I won’t be thinking abouthim, about Brew. I also have to think about Clink and find out what happens next. Then I have to figure out when I’m leaving.

Because I will be leaving.

I can’t stay here.

As much as I would love to stay in East Texas just to be near my brother, it’s not really the smartest thing for me to do. While I could stay here and still pay my bills, I need to be home at my apartment. I need to be in my routine.

I need to be away from Brew.

Because if I stay here. If I see him and hear his voice. If I feel his touch—I’m going to do something really stupid… like fall in love with him all over again.

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