Page 150 of Close Knit

My stomach twists. I feel broken in front of them, but they’re all I got. Besides my family, they’re the ones who’ve been with me through everything. “I fucked it up with Daphne.”

“She’s in love with you. Don’t be a muppet,” Omar says.

“Whatever happened can be fixed,” Jung suggests.

Right here, in front of my team, I feel myself unravel. My face sinks into my hands, the weight of everything pressing down as I struggle to keep it together.

“The man she thought she had was not one I could be.” I let the words escape from my mouth. “I’ve been working onmyself and trying to make things right, but I’m scared it won’t be enough. Some part of me is afraid that I don’t deserve her.”

Ivan sits beside me. “Cameron, I’ve been married a long time, and to this day I am still trying to reach my wife’s level. If you feel like you don’t deserve Daphne, you have to work that out for yourself. That’s what’s blocking you both from being happy.”

“Everything that happened at Overton. Rossi’s…abuse. What Charlie did. I hadn’t realized how much it broke me. It shattered any sense of self I had. It destroyed me. And instead of fixing it, instead of being a man and working on things with her, I pushed Daphne away.”

“There are many ways to be a man,” Ivan says, his voice steady and firm.

It’s hard to drown out the months of negative thoughts that have been on repeat in my head. It’s not easy to just flip a switch and believe I’m enough.

Tamu is the first to break the silence. “There’s this idea that men have to be tough, that showing emotion is a sign of weakness.” His tone is serious but soft. “It’s what makes us bottle things up and have heart attacks at forty instead of ever asking for help. It’s what made you think you had to deal with what happened at Overton on your own.”

Ivan nods. “We’ve all been there. Feeling like we have to be invincible, that we can’t show vulnerability. But that’s bullshit. Being a man isn’t about being tough all the time. It’s about being honest and being able to admit when you’re hurt and when you need help.”

“You’ve been through hell, Cameron. No one expects you to handle it alone. You said it yourself—you’ve been broken. But that doesn’t make you less of a man. It just makes you human,” Sven says. I look up at my friends.

“Daphne loved the person you are. Whatever you did, certainly there’s a path back.” Jung pats my shoulder.

“She’s already given me my second chance. She may not want anything to do with me after the way I left things.” Guilt and shame tug at each of my nerves. “I don’t know if I can make things right,” I admit.

“We never leave a lion behind, remember?”

Omar bumps his sneakers against mine. “You don’t have to do it alone.”

“You’ll find your way to being the man you want to be.” Ivan nods. “You know, speaking out about things like this is important. Especially in sports. It’s something Daphne would have pushed for. Just a thought, but maybe it’s something to consider.”

I nod, taking in their words.

“I think I’m ready to press charges against Charlie,” I admit, my voice steadier than I feel.

It’s the next step.

Ivan’s eyebrows lift, a flicker of surprise breaking his usual gruff demeanor. “Really?” he asks, a hint of something—pride, maybe?—in his voice. I nod again. “I happen to know someone at the Football Federation,” he says, his tone softening. “They can help speed things up. With the footage of him recording you and the security guard’s testimony, it should be a straightforward case.”

“Fuck yeah,” Omar says.

My heart thrums wildly in my chest.

No more running away.

No more letting fear dictate my life.

The livestream has gnawed at the edges of my sanity for a year. It’s time for justice to be served. Not just for me, but for anyone this might happen to in the future.

My mind flashes with the headlines that will surely be published after I come forward, but I push them aside. I can’t keep letting them have this power over me. It’s the reason I lostDaphne. I have to seize control, even if it’s daunting. There’s no other way I can start to heal, to rebuild.

If there’s a way forward, then there’s also a way toward Daphne. She deserves someone who can face the tabloids. Someone with courage and integrity, not like the coward I’ve been. I need to stop letting my fears and trauma steal my life from me. I need to be brave. For her and for us.

“And, most importantly, if I want to get my girl back,” I say. “I’ll need your help.”

This isn’t just about me anymore; it’s about her knowing I will fight for our future. I still have a shot at becoming the man she thought I was.

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