Page 82 of Eye Candy

“I’m glad you invited me here, Joe,” I said. “Caroline leaving New York has been difficult. I’m not handling it well”—Xan made a no-shit face—“and it’s nice to have the people I love around me. That’s you too, Xan. I appreciate you all. A lot.”

Xan put a hand over his heart, almost overbalancing from his stool. “I appreciate you too, man. That’s why I’m drunk at eleven on a Saturday. I’ve been here since nine and that wood elf there,” he jabbed a finger at Jem, “makes Bloody Marys appear like magik.”

“Chef is working on eggplant steaks right now,” Jem soothed. “They’ll soak everything up. Tell me more about wood elves.”

As Xan started explaining the finer details of the game he loved, Joe sat down beside me.

“Now that you’ve also been seduced by a bad influence and derailed your life, you know how I felt when Teddy—the real one—left me.”

“You loved her?”

Joe’s eyes widened. “What? Hell no. No, I just didn’tappreciate my older brother rubbing my face in my mistakes. You mean you love Fake Teddy?”

“I told you, her name is Caroline.”

“You love Caroline?”

“Yes.”

Joe stared. “Then why are you here and not with her?”

“She’s in New Zealand.”

“And?” Joe said, not getting it.

“She didn’t want me.” The words tasted like a mouthful of salt water.

Joe eyed me knowingly. “Did you try and tell her what to do with her life based on whatyouwould do, disregarding her wildly different circumstances, outlook, and feelings?”

“Pretty much.”

“Typical.” My brother was silent for a second, turning something over in his head. “Chase, I’ve never seen you like you were with her. Yeah, you were overbearing and smug, as usual, but also weirdly cheerful. Not to mention how obvious it was you were thinking X-rated stuff every time you looked at her, thirsting like a man lost in the Sahara. I’ve never seen that side of you.”

I took a sip of Jem’s virgin drink and winced. It was bitter, like the tea Caroline had made in my apartment.

I tried to explain. “With her, it was all these different feelings all at the same time, and she gave it straight back. I could be all of me. Not just Austin’s son or a morality blogger or someone who panics in crowds. I was me.”

Joe was gazing at Jemima. “I get that.”

“With her, I never knew what was coming. I couldn’t predict her or plan a good reaction. She shocked me and baited me and there was no restraining her. I just felt lucky to be in her orbit. Who wouldn’t stop and stare when Caroline was in the room? She lit it up.”

“Brother, you’ve got it bad.”

“I know. But she doesn’t feel the same. Plus, there’s the thing with Gerry.”

“Oh yeah. I read your lawyer’s emails about that. Next time, just call me. I’ll unblock your number.”

“You blocked?—”

He waved a hand. “Bygones. What are we going to do about our greedy little stepbrother? Should we have him killed?” Joe joked. I hoped it was a joke.

“Actually…” Caroline’s face was in my head. “I’ve given this a lot of thought and I’ve decided to sell some shares in the Sanford Group. I plan to give him 3 percent. You’ll get another 20 percent and I’ll keep the rest, but I’ve been working with legal on shareholder agreements to codify our ethical, environmental and social-good practices. I want to be able to step down in five years and focus on philanthropy. They say give until it hurts—well, you and I could stand to hurt a little more. Gerry’s a dick, but Dad was a nightmare for him, too. He lived in the same town house, he experienced a lot of the same hurt. If I do this, maybe he can move on. And Caroline liked his clubs—attempted fraud aside, he’s built something great. It’s not the worst thing if he has more capital to scale up.”

Joe blinked at me. “You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Tell your scammer that.”

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