Page 67 of Fate Forever and Always

I stepped back, putting more space between us. “Of course it's okay. I am sorry I touched you without permission. I won’t do it again.”

I should have been more considerate. She was dealing with a lot, then here comes my dumbass touching her when she didn’t want to be touched.

She placed her hand on my forearm and leaned up, hesitantly kissing me on the cheek. “That isn’t what I meant. I mean, thank you for saying that, but you don’t need permission to touch me. I will work through this.” She leaned in a little. “I am yours, Nick. Nothing is going to change that. I just want to talk about it. I know I have been standoffish the past few days, and you are probably longing for attention, and I know I owe it to you. I will do my best to—”

She cut herself off and gave me a concerned look when I stepped even further away from her. I couldn’t believe she just said that. She owes me fucking nothing.

“You owe me nothing, Callie. This relationship isn’t transactional. Yes, you are mine, and you will be forever, but that doesn’t give me the right toexpectanything from you.”

I stepped back toward her but didn’t reach out to touch her. “You don’t owe anyone your body, Callie. It is yours to do what you please with. That stupid fucking cocksucker of a little boy, and yes, I said little boy, because no real man would ever hurt a woman like that. That little boy took away that choice from you, and you have every right to heal from that however you want or need. You want me just to sit next to you and not touch you? I’ll do it all day long, baby. You want me only to hold your hand, I got you. You want me only to kiss your feet, I’ll fucking do that, too.”

She smiled a little, but I could see tears forming in the corners of her eyes. I kept talking.

“Callie, I will do anything for you. If I could never get anything physical from you again, I’m okay with that. As long as I’m with you, I am happy.”

She grabbed my hands and put them against her chest in a fist. “It won't take forever, I promise.” Her smile fell a bit. “But I think I do need some time. I don’t know why I am fine when you hold my hand, or even put a chaste touch on my arm or facehere and there, but the minute I think about you fully hugging or kissing me, I feel like I’m going to black out.” Her voice was starting to break as she continued talking. “I don’t understand it. I know you won't hurt me. I know you’re my safe space. Literally, the only thing that even feels remotely normal right now is being near you, and yet I can't let youreallytouch me.”

I kissed the back of her hand and let go. “We won’t do anything more until you’re ready, baby. You’re the boss.”

She looked up at me with wide eyes and kissed my hand. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby girl.”

She leaned in and whispered against my lips. “I secretly love it when you call me that.”

I smiled and lightly kissed her. “I know.”

Over the next few days, we mostly stayed in the room, playing different board games and watching movies. It was sweet. We hadn’t gotten very far in the touching department, but she was trying, and I could tell. It wasn't exactly how we planned to spend the last few days of our vacation, but we made it work.

We got back home last night, and surprisingly, I did a lot better on that flight. I think the fact that I was so focused on Callie and trying not to touch her was making me suppress my fears a little.

Last night, I expected her to sleep in her room, and she did at first. I figured she would want privacy. When two o’clock came around, she climbed into bed with me and cuddled into me. I wasn’t sure whether it was consciously or unconsciously. The way she was snuggled into me and rubbing me gave me the biggest fucking erection I’d ever had. I guess being home addedanother layer of comfort because that was the first time she had done that since she was assaulted.

I got up this morning without disturbing her, thank God. I wanted her to get as much sleep as possible. I texted Aubrey while sitting on the couch, waiting for Callie to wake up.

Hey.

Aubrey

Tell me why she is being weird.

Who?

Aubrey

Stop being an idiot. Callie, you ass wipe.

Hostile much? ??

She is fine. Why do you ask?

Aubrey

She wasn’t okay last night on the phone, and for some reason you guys won't tell me why.

Did you hurt her?

I am not dignifying that with an actual answer. I can't believe you would even think that.

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