Page 131 of Rinkmates

“I was terrified, Riley,” I say, shuttering from tears as they ripple out of me.

Each heave, each wince a knife that Sandford pressed into me.

The way he threatened to kill me and the baby for ruining his career.

The way he threatened my mom.

The way he looked at me. A death promise in his eyes.

Riley draws me closer, his warmth enveloping me like a shield, and I cry harder. I’ve never felt so safe in my life.

I lean into him, praying he won’t turn away when he learns just how broken I really am.

“I am so sorry,” Riley whispers against my hair, shaking as well. “I am so sorry you had to live through that.”

Once I’m able to speak again, I say, “We were so scared of what Sandford might do if he found out. We sold our house, moved to Orlando, and took jobs waitressing and cleaning to get by. But it wasn’t enough.”

The words catch in my throat as I think of all the hardships we endured. All the times we thought we wouldn’t make it, but each time the day ended, the sun went up again, and we tried anew.

“I shut down all my social media, switched to a prepaid phone, even opened a new bank account, terrified Sandford would track us down. Somehow, we managed to stay hidden, even when the sponsors I had for the Olympics sued the shit out of me, leaving me deep in debt. And then—” A ghost of a smile touches my lips. “I had my beautiful baby boy on May twenty-eighth.”

That picture. Even now it fills me with such warmth.

The little baby in my arms. Blond hair, the bluest eyes, and cutest little nose I could think of. His tiny hand was so little, it could wrap around my thumb and that was it.

Riley takes my hand and kisses it. “Can you tell me his name? Please?”

“Rory.”

Riley’s eyes light up and I almost bawl at it again. “Boys with R names are the best.”

I don’t know how he does it, but he manages to make me laugh. Even now.

I let my head fall against his chest again.

“Mom and I, we were the happiest we’d ever been, even living in that cramped trailer. His little laughs, his tiny hands reaching for us—he made every struggle worth it.”

Riley’s arms tighten around me, his heartbeat steady against my cheek now.

I draw in a shuddering breath, steeling myself for the hardest part.

“But when he was a year old, everything changed. He got sick, so sick. The doctors diagnosed him with type one diabetes. He needed medication, but the costs…” I shake my head, a bitterlaugh escaping me. “We tried everything. I worked myself to the bone, but the debt just kept piling up. And one day, I couldn’t afford his insulin.” I look up at Riley, and at the shock in his eyes, the tears come rolling again.

What kind of mother can’t buy medication for her child?

Me.

I couldn’t.

My voice drops to a horse whisper. “Riley, I couldn’t buy him his meds. I couldn’t give him the care he needed. I realized—” A sob wrenches from my throat again. “I realized…I…had to let him go.”

All the hurt comes back and I almost shatter just thinking about it. I notice my feet give way, but Riley catches me. He cradles my face, his thumb brushing away the tears.

“Lia, you did what you could.” His voice is a faint whisper and I realize he has tears in his eyes too.

So I nod, just looking at him and letting it all out. I have no idea how I still have tears left.

That choice. That moment, I knew I had to let go of the one person in my life I loved more than anyone or anything. It killed me and the person I was before.

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