Page 49 of Shadows in Bloom

It had been the same for me. The moment I’d acknowledged that invisible current between us, I’d doomed myself. Nothing I’d wanted for myself made sense anymore without his presence tied to it. He was intertwined with the very essence of my soul, and I would not live in a world without him, without us, even if that meant fighting for it to my very last breath.

I leaned my head against his chest and spoke the words I had been conscious of all along. “We will manage this together. I love you, Alandris.”

Why had I waited so long to acknowledge that undeniable fact? Now that I’d said the words, it was like a weight lifted off of my chest.

He cut short the comfort I felt nestled in his arms as he pulled away, holding me at arm’s length with his hands on my shoulders. Shock lined his expression. He brought one of those hands to my face, gently lifting my chin with the tip of his finger. “Will you say it once more? I want to see you when you say it.” The beaming smile that lit up his face was so childlike, the ridiculousness of his request so very like him, that I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I love you,” I repeated, grinning ear to ear.

He leaned down to kiss me then, in such a manner it knocked the wind from my lungs. Though it was delicate, it was filled with all the emotions we couldn’t vocalize. The world around me blurred from focus and, for a wonderful, blissful moment, we were just two beings in love, free from responsibility, and free from consequence. Nothing existed except the two of us, tangled in each other’s arms.

I locked my hands behind his neck, my fingers curling into his hair, as I dragged him to me eagerly. His hands curved down my sides, leaving trails of warmth so hot I thought he might have manifested his magic into his palms. They stopped on my hips, gripping me so tightly I gasped.

“I love you, Nairu,” he whispered against my lips, in a deeper, heavier timbre than I was used to hearing from him. It was as though I caught a glimpse of the deepest part of him—the part he concealed behind his humor and cheerful demeanor.

I was drowning in the rawness of it. Even as he swiftly pulled back from me, putting distance between us, I remained lost in that world.

“Is something wrong?” It was not Alandris’ voice that shook me from my daydream.

The distant sound of Kallistra’s voice sent my heart into a racing panic. If the nervous fidgeting of my fingers in the hem of my shirt didn’t alert her to my guilt, the brazen flush of my cheeks would surely expose me. I could only hope she couldn’t smell him on my clothes, the way he lingered on my own senses—the scent of a recently snuffed out fire and something earthier,oakmoss and amber. Could only hope the trail of fire he’d left with his hands upon my body was in fact a figment of my imagination.

Our only saving grace was that Alandris had noticed Kallistra’s presence quickly enough for him to separate us from one another—though I knew our closeness, and the fact that we were alone together, would still rouse suspicion if we didn’t play the coming interrogation very carefully. And I was in no position to stand trial.

Kallistra stopped just before us, a hare dangling from a snare in her right hand. “I wanted to skin and clean our dinner, so I headed back early. I didn’t expect to find anyone here.” Her words peaked into a question, one brow lifting as she looked between Alandris and me.

Alandris slipped into a playful smile with such ease it was startling. If he was at all worried about being caught, it did not show in the slightest. “Zorinna grew tired of my lack of gathering skills, so she sent me back to prepare the camp ahead of her.” He tilted his head toward me. “Nairu was here already… wasn’t feeling well, so Kaz told her to take it easy.” An expertly crafted lie. Not a hint of wavering in his voice.

I fell into the role he’d prepared for me, clutching my stomach. I could feign sickness—I was still reeling after all. “I think I’m hungry. Feverish, maybe.” I let my eyes wander to the hare in her hand, where they lingered for an extra breath, before I looked back up at her.

Kallistra gave a look of pity and rested her hand on my shoulder. She was no stranger to the pain of hunger. We had both suffered during our pilgrimage. Our shared suffering would play to my advantage. “Why don’t you lie down for a bit? I’ll get started preparing our dinner right away.”

My heart was still hammering as I followed her suggestion and unfurled my bed roll to rest while she prepped our meal. If Kallistra had witnessed Alandris and me embrace—or more—she would have confronted us head on; she took her duty too seriously to bother lulling us into a false sense of security, so it was likely we’d only come into view for her after we’d already stepped away from one another. Alandris’ quickly crafted story had worked well enough.

The idea of being so close to being caught had me horrified. I don’t know what Kallistra would have done had she seen us… Such things were forbidden. My people did not even want me to have friends outside of Kallistra, so a lover was out of the question. My people forbade anything that could distract me from my goal. Kallistra was responsible for removing such distractions. I didn’t want to think about how far she would take the command of ‘removal’. I wasn’t certain if there was anything she wouldn’t do for her duty. Lie. Steal. Kill.

If I wasn’t such a hopeless fool, I would spare Alandris from the risks of being attached to me. But it was far too late for that. Selfish as it was, I couldn’t let him go. I don’t think I was ever capable of letting him go—I’d only tried to convince myself I was in order to spare us both. Now, I would just need to do mybest to protect him, even if it was from the person who had been by my side for my entire life. My first friend. My first enemy. And I still didn’t know which version of Kallistra would meet me in the end.

Chapter 25

We’d expected the area marked on the map to be different somehow from the surrounding swampland. We’d chattered about it for days, fantasizing about fields of wildflowers, crystal clear springs, and spottings of tiny, glowing eyes amongst the trees. There was no chance a Fae had sent us to find a random, rocky cave in the middle of the Azog Bog. It had to be different. Magical. Dangerous. If it wasn’t, why send a trained Mage to find it?

A mystical cave surrounded by telltale signs of the Fae. That was the assumption, but as we circled the designated area for hours on end, searching for anything out of place, we started to question our earlier predictions.

“We should check every entrance we can find.” Zorinna groaned, running a hand through her long, ruby locks. Herpatience was wearing. All of ours were. It was hot and sticky and utterly miserable.

“Didn’t we agree it should stick out?” Kaz questioned. “Could it be hidden by magic?”

Alandris shook his head. “I don’t sense any illusion magic. Even magic as subtly powerful as a Fae’s would have a distinct signature that would allow me to shatter the illusion. It would be obvious to the trained eye. Usually it is an unusual shimmer of light, a lack of shadow where one should be, or an odd discoloration. The magic fades once it is discovered.”

“Perhaps you lack training.” Zorinna snorted.

Alandris shot her a glare. “I was top of my class. Training to be an Arch Magus. Remember?”

“No. I don’t recall.”

I stifled a laugh as I worked up the courage to offer a theory of my own. “Sometimes the best illusion is simply hiding in plain sight.” I’d done that plenty—pretending to be a Faeling to avoid answering questions about my lineage that I didn’t have the answers to. “Zorinna may be right. We may need to check every last entrance we see, even if they look entirely ordinary on the outside.”

“Let’s not waste time, then,” Kallistra agreed, twirling her dagger between her fingers. “If you find something, whistle. Nairu—with me. We’ll take the East side of the search area.”

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