Page 39 of Shadows in Bloom

His head snapped toward me, and I almost backed down, seeing the quiet rage that strained his features. “Exactly.Yourself.”

“You know what I mean.”

He sighed, and the harshness fell from his face. “I know you’ve spent your entire life sheltered, protected, and I know you hate it. So I know you don’t need someone else telling you not to do something…” His eyes met mine. “But I have never felt more helpless than when I watched you faint, covered in blood, not knowing where it came from. I shouldn’t tell you to never put your life at risk for me again, but I will beg. If I must.”

“Would you not do the same?”

He tilted his head, confused.

“Would you not do the same?” I repeated. “If you saw me fighting off a group of monsters and you thought, even if you weren’t sure, but you thought I may need help. Would you remain hidden while I struggled?”

Alandris’ mouth opened and closed a few times, and I knew I’d won.

“Exactly,” I repeated his earlier words back to him.

He sighed once more, this time in defeat. “You are impossible, Nairu.” Plucking a marigold from the ground, he brushed awaythe dirt, and brought the little yellow flower up in front of us, twirling the stem. He then reached forward and tucked the flower into my hair, just above my ear. His fingers lingered, running along my hair. “Do you know why I would intervene for you?”

My breath caught in my throat. “Because you are good and kind.”

“I am no such thing.” He dropped my hair, pulling his hand back as though it’d burned him. “Let’s begin, then. We shouldn’t use our magic lest we get an earful from our friends, but we can practice your visualizations for manifesting your magic.”

He’d scooted a solid yard away from me before I had a chance to realize it was about damn time I took a breath again. As if it’d never happened, as if he’d never reached for me, I returned to my senses.

It wasn’t as though it were the first time he’d touched me. He’d had to during our trainings. He’d done so casually several times since. But this experience was vastly dissimilar… so much stronger. For the first time, I considered that maybe he had experienced it as well—this buzzing of energy between us that left me breathless and stirred. And just as I was, he was running from it. Tucking whatever emotions we had toward each other into some tiny pocket to be forgotten about.

I was supposed to be visualizing something for my shadows to manifest as, in order to protect me. A sword, a bow, a shield.Instead, I imagined him. Reaching for me in a field of marigolds. Reaching for me and not pulling away.

The setting sun painted the sky with gorgeous hues of pink and orange. A blessing I’d been looking forward to for several hours. Alandris and I had not said much of anything during our exercises, aside from basic directions. The walk home would be awkward, but at least it wasn’t far. I would have Kallistra and Zorinna to distract me back in the room.

As we walked, I looked out to the tree-line where we’d emerged from after our battle with the Visumena. Some part of me feared they would emerge from between the trees, their creepy, spider-like legs carrying them across the field. Despite the assurance that they weren’t known to attack settlements, I still felt exposed. I couldn’t stop myself from watching. Waiting.

A flicker of light drew my attention further into the trees. It continued to flash on and off like a beacon. I abruptly ceased walking and Alandris nearly crashed into me, gripping my shoulders to halt himself.

“What is it?” he questioned, following my eyes to the tree-line.

“Do you see that light?”

“I don’t see anything.”

Sure enough, the flashing had stopped just in time for me to seem like I’d lost my mind. “You’re sure they aren’t still out there, right?”

“The Visumena? No. Aside from the fact that they wouldn’t risk attacking a settlement of this size, they wouldn’t stalk their prey for longer than a night,” he assured me.

“Right.”

I kept walking toward the manor, an unsettling sensation I couldn’t rid myself of causing my hair to stand on end.

Chapter 19

It was our last night at Theomund’s manor, and the last day I’d be required to spend training with Alandris while we pretended to be oblivious to the tension between us. Once we were on the road again, the busyness of travel and setting up camp would take over. In the event that time allowed for any training, the lessons would be brief. I could manage brief. It was the countless hours staring at him leaned against the willow tree, his long legs crossed in front of him, eyes closed in concentration, rays of sunlight dancing across his perfect face, which was driving me mad.

We’d only just made it out of the front gate when my cloak snagged on a broken piece of the fence, a large tear shredding the fabric as I pulled away. A lovely start to the day. Or could it be? An excuse to skip out on another lesson in staring at Alandris when I should be visualizing the manifestation of my magic?

I let out a loud grumble of frustration. I needed to sell this for it to work, after all. “Clearly, today is not my day. I tripped over Kallistra in the morning, my bread at breakfast was stale, and now this.” I feigned an exasperated sigh as I held the tatters of my cloak in my hands. “Perhaps it would be better if I stayed in the manor today.”

Alandris laughed, shaking his head. “Don’t be ridiculous. Your marks are completely gone, and my wound has healed nicely. We need to take advantage of a full day of training. There’s an extra cloak laying across the chair in the room Kaz and I are sharing. Why don’t you go grab it while I pick the remainder of your cloak off the fence?” He left me no chance to object as he started untangling the fabric from the jagged wood.

I possibly stomped my feet a bit louder than necessary as I trudged up the stairs, but I needed some way to let out my frustration. At least he’d made it clear we were going to train like we normally did. I wouldn’t have to watch him sitting there all day long while I pretended to focus. I only had to practice with him behind me… with his hands touching me as I tried to call forth something more potent using my magic. Great.

---