Page 21 of Shadows in Bloom

“Zorinna, no.” I rushed to her side. “I can’t pay you for that.”

She waved me off, as if I’d just said something crazy, and tossed the shopkeeper the coins as if they were nothing. Once we paid up, she dragged me by the wrist over to a chair in the shop’s corner and motioned for me to sit. She was commanding in a way that came naturally to her, and I couldn’t help but listen.

She took a section of the top of my hair in her hands, and I froze. If my skin could’ve blanched any paler, it would have. She began to braid the strands, one section from each side of my head, weaving her fingers in and out of my hair until they met in the middle. There, she grabbed that beautiful red ribbon and knotted it into my hair, keeping the braids in place. When she was done, her hands lingered there, resting on my shoulders.

“I have no sisters, only a brother,” she mumbled. “He has long hair, but he’d sooner gut me than let me braid it. I’m sorry if it’s shitty… I don’t get much practice.”

“I like it.”

I did. I just hadn’t expected that. Not after the conversation I’d overheard between her and Alandris. I’d gotten the sense that she didn’t much like me, and Kallistra even less.

“Consider this an apology gift, because I’m quite shit at those, too.” She tied her hair into a knot at the top of her head with the other ribbon she’d purchased. “Someone I care aboutis rather pissed at me for not giving you a chance. So, here’s that chance. Don’t screw it up.”

Then this had to do with Alandris. “I—um—I have no ill intentions. I just want to learn to manage my magic, and we needed the coin. That’s all.”

Zorinna held my gaze. “That woman—” She pointed to the shopkeeper. “She was startled at first, but she isn’t afraid of you. Some people are cruel by nature, but I think you’ll find the less you hide, the better reaction you’ll have. You aren’t all that terrifying. Carry it with confidence.”

Easy for her to say. She was one of the most gorgeous females I’d ever seen. Even on the short walk here, I could see the way people looked at her. She made heads spin in wonder. Besides that, she looked normal. Not ordinary, but normal. She had the features of a normal Elven female. We were nothing alike. I instinctively reached to pull my hood over my head once more.

Before I could finish the movement, she added, “Don’t. Confidence, Nairu.”

“I don’t know… Kallistra prefers I remain hidden. She says it will help us avoid conflict.”

“What is it that you prefer?”

Her question reminded me of the one I’d answered yesterday with Alandris. What did I prefer? To make my own decision. This time I would. Little by little, I was going to keep making choices just for myself. I would walk back to the inn with my hood down and my partially braided hair blowing freely in the wind.

“Let’s go back.” I nodded with a confidence I knew would make her grin in return. “Thank you, Zorinna.”

The feeling of bliss that had enveloped me after successfully taking the leap to walk back unfettered, and having no negative encounters on the way, was swiftly shattered by Kallistra’s foul expression. She didn’t yell at me. She didn’t say anything at all. But the disappointed expression on her face, and the way she took off up the stairs without commenting on my appearance, was enough, and it hurt all the more. If she’d lashed out, I’d have felt better. It was better than being ignored.

“Look at you!” Kaz exclaimed, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. The weight of it nearly had me toppling over. “You’re a rose in the middle of a snowfield!“

Zorinna snorted. “I didn’t take you for a poet, Kaz.”

“Even I know a beauty when I see one.”

My cheeks flushed. I wasn’t used to being fussed over. I’d had plenty of it for one day. “Kaz. You’re crushing me.” I wiggled my shoulders underneath his arm.

“Ah, sorry!” He raised his arm, and it was as though a boulder had been lifted from off the top of me. “I ought to take my leave, anyway. I took a side job with a local farmer. Swears wolves are gobbling up his livestock. I’m going to go set some traps now and scout the place out tonight.”

Zorinna, too, pardoned herself, and I was left with at least another hour or two to myself before it would be time to work on my magic with Alandris. I’d sit down here by myself in silence sooner than I’d go upstairs to face Kallistra’s disappointment.I was proud of myself for my progress, and I would let no one take that away from me. Not even her.

I’d never been like this before. Anything my people asked of me, anything Kallistra asked of me, I did without question. I’d only realized just how unusual my upbringing had been when we started our pilgrimage and I witnessed how others interacted outside of our village. I’d never been anything but grateful to my people, but when I saw that, I felt like a caged bird.

Every aspect of my life had been pre-planned for me. What I wore, what I ate, what I learned, who I was friends with. And then, after twenty years of that, they shoved Kallistra and me out and set us free with our mission, into a world that operated very differently than how we had. Save us. Find what has been lost.Save us.

Had they expected me not to notice? Or had they expected Kallistra to shield me from it? The freedom. The beauty of a world beyond snow-capped mountains.

Somehow, I still had a lingering sense of indebtedness toward them. The ‘duty’ Kallistra clung to for dear life—the same one I should have been more attached to—it was to save them. I should have felt guilty and shameful to even consider my own personal desires while they were home waiting for me to succeed. To return. Part of me did have that sentiment. But the ember in my heart—the one that blazed brighter every time I chose something solely for myself—was slowly overtaking that guilt.

Chapter 10

“You’re awfully distracted today.” Alandris’s chuckle carried on the wind.

It’d been three days since Kallistra had begun to ignore me, only speaking to me in cold, one-word answers, and only if I initiated the conversation myself. I’d angered her, betrayed her even. Talking back to her, blatantly going against her wishes, was not something I ever did. Nod and accept what was expected of me. That was who I was—who I was supposed to be.

The tangled mess of emotions inside my head were tormenting me. My week of lessons with Alandris had yielded little to no results. After the chaos that had erupted last time, I hadn’t tried to meld my magic into anything other than a bird. I hadn’t dared to risk it. Alandris assured me he could neutralize my volatile magic within seconds this time should it turn on us, but I couldn’t help but have reservations.

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