Page 12 of Shadows in Bloom

“My power is a gift from God,” I settled on. “Our God. My people’s God, that is. I don’t mean to disrespect any beliefs you hold. I’ve traveled some time now, so I realize there are other… Gods.”

“It’s fine, Nairu. I’m not all that faithful.”

“Uh, I wear the stone… because we follow a lesser-known God, and it is easier to claim the power as my own than answer the onslaught of questions from those we encounter.”

A truth and a lie. Kallistra had instructed me never to speak of our God to others. She’d crafted the necklace herself and told me to wear it so that I wouldn’t draw attention to myself in the case I needed to utilize my magic. And I’d managed to avoid attention successfully until now. Alandris was to be my teacher, so of course he would inquire about the sourceof my magic. Surely, Kallistra had known as much. So, why allow it? Pity? Desperation?

Alandris hummed to himself, and a smirk rose to his lips. “I am sorry to pester you with my onslaught of questions.”

“T-that isn’t what I meant!”

“I only mean to joke with you, Nairu. No need to get all flustered.”

A shameful heat rose to my cheeks. “I’m not used to it.”

“I had garnered as much. Your companion is quite the serious character.” Alandris lifted his hand, showing off a sapphire gemstone set inside an ornate silver ring. “I utilize a conduit, but I should be able to teach you just as well. All manner of Mages come to the Consortium, and we all learn together from the same instructors. The basis of magic is uniform, God gifted or not.”

I nibbled at my lip. “I am not very well practiced. I’ve tried a few spells with Kallistra, but she can’t wield magic herself, so I can’t say we’ve accomplished much.”

“If you’ve a genuine interest in magic, you should consider joining the Mages Consortium after our job! You’d be amazed by the place—I was the first time I arrived. It was stunning. A giant castle on the edge of a cliff, overlooking the sea. Breathtaking, honestly.” His eyes crinkled as he spoke, a smile on his face as he rambled. “Out there on the island, it’s like an escape from reality. It’s our own little paradise. No one cares who you are or where you’ve come from. The only thing that matters is the magic.”

“Perhaps…” I frowned. “In another life, that may have been a dream of mine.”

Alandris’ smile fell from his face, aware he’d hit a nerve. I hadn’t been able to hide it from my face. In a low voice, he spoke. “I’m sorry. I’m not aware of your circumstances. I got a bit carried away with my words, as I often do.”

I waved my hands in front of myself. “No, no. Don’t apologize. I think it sounds wonderful there.”

“Well, I—thank you. I suppose we should get started.” Alandris stood in front of me, his arms crossed in waiting. “By all means, please demonstrate your magic.”

“Like I mentioned, I really don’t know—”

“I won’t judge you for your skill level. I only wish to discern your strengths.” Alandris held out his hand. “Go on.”

I obliged, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. Shakily exhaling, I recalled the times I’d practiced with Kallistra. I’d allowed the power to flow through me, become one with me, taking over a part of my very essence. It had been so intense, so volatile, I’d had to pull back and separate the magic. In the end, all I’d managed to do was conjure a tiny bird. This time had to be different, so I could prove my worth as a student.

Unlike my last attempt, I let the magic flow freely, without attempting to hold it at bay. I felt it rush down my arm with such violence that I could’ve sworn it tore my flesh apart. It was raw. Painful. I opened my eyes, wincing as the magic culminated in my palm, leaving trails of black, which formed like veins down my skin. As I sucked in another labored breath, it appearedthere. A bird, much larger this time, but still with no corporeal form, only swirling darkness.

I fell to my knees, struggling to hold the apparition there for as long as possible. Just a bit longer. A second more. My head was swimming. Everything went white. Only when a hand pulled me back by the shoulder and slowly eased my body to the ground did I finally regain my awareness. My vision returned, and I spun to see Alandris staring at me with a furrowed brow.

“Do you typically almost faint?” He kept eying me up and down, looking between my hand and face.

“I told you, I’m not very good,” I mumbled, brushing off my skirt. In truth, I’d never pushed myself so far.

Alandris stood from the ground and offered me a hand up. “I have a number of questions, but first, are you alright? You seemed to be in pain. I thought to stop you sooner, but…”

I took his hand and gave a reassuring smile. “I’m alright. I just pushed too far, that’s all.” Even after I was safely on my feet, his grip lingered there as if I might collapse at any moment. “I promise.”

With that, he pulled away and brought his hand to his chin. “I’ve never seen magic behave in such a manner. To manifest so potently for such a simple conjuration is indeed strange. Has that happened before?”

“No. Though it never feels quite right to tap into my power, it hasn’t done that.”

“I’m not sure how it should feel. It’s different for everyone, but it certainly shouldn’t feel bad. Strenuous, maybe, but onlypainful if you were to push yourself far beyond your limits.” He looked away in thought. “And you shouldn’t be anywhere near your limit from one spell, even as a novice.”

I let out a breathy laugh. “I’m a lost cause, then, aren’t I?”

“Oh, of course not!” He brought his hand forward and snapped his fingers. In his palm appeared a small, spiraling ball of fire. “It should be this easy. An extension of yourself.”

The ball continued to grow larger and larger, spinning faster and faster until it was nearly the size of a boulder. With another snap, it was gone, as if it’d never been there at all. His skin was unburned, and he showed no signs of fatigue. Utilizing his magic came second nature to him. It did not punish him for tapping into it as mine did. His coexisted with him, an essential part of his being.