Page 64 of Shadows in Bloom

Sitting up and helping me rise with him, a firm hand on my back, Alandris spoke, “You never cease to amaze me.”

“What do you mean?”

“You have only just learned of your first life and how poorly you were treated, and your first thought is how you want to reconcile things with Kallistra.”

A blush crept to my cheeks. I was familiar with reverence, but genuine praise was not something I often received. Hearing it from the male who was capable of making my heart race just looking at me made it that much more… difficult. I wasn’t sure I deserved it. Or him. I could try to be a better person than I was in my first life, but that scared, hateful girl was still a part of me, and I was not the same woman he’d first met. I’d had terrible thoughts and had done terrible things. My will to be a better person wouldn’t change my past. At what point would I be worthy of forgiveness from those I’d wronged? From Alandris? From myself?

Alandris waved his fingers in front of my eyes, snapping me back to reality. “It seems I’ve lost you inside of that mind of yours. Worrying, are you?” He tipped my chin up softly until our eyes met. “You want to change things, right? The only thing we can do is start. Put one foot in front of the other and try our damn best not to fall.”

“I was in my head…” I whispered, a small smile tugging my lips.

“I’m well aware.” He smirked. “I’m afraid I know you better than you know yourself, so there is no use in hiding what you’re thinking.”

“Thank you, Alandris. For everything.”

I’d been alone through everything, in every life, with only my Keeper at my side—someone who was there out of obligatory duty. I’d never had a family. I’d never had friends. I’d never had someone whom I loved. Someone who chose me. When Alandris found me in that tavern in Fernfallow and invited Kallistra and me on his adventure, he had unequivocally changed my life. A ‘thank you’ couldn’t scratch the surface of my gratitude.

I would save the Consortium. His home. Whatever it took. That was what I had to offer him in return.

Guilt had begun to bubble in my stomach over how much time I’d spent recovering. Necessary, considering the injuries and overall exhaustion, but that didn’t alleviate the sense of failure toward Kallistra, Kaz, and Zorinna. They were out there somewhere in the tunnels, and we had no idea if they had survived the attack. It was time to quickly resume our search, andonce we located them, we would all be able to escape from this place—together.

The only way forward led Alandris and me deeper into the cavern, through more twisting and turning halls that seemed to have no end. Having recovered decently, we were making a quick pace, though it was impossible to know what time it was or how close we were to our goal. There were no footsteps or noises that indicated we were anywhere near anyone else. The only consolation was that the path had remained steady, never forking off in multiple directions. We had to reach someone eventually, as long as we kept moving forward.

I’d taken to counting the number of unique plants clinging to the rocky cavern walls to keep my mind alert. I cataloged their shape, size, color, and other significant features so that I would be able to jot them down and research them later. If I weren’t so rushed, I would’ve liked to collect a sample or two of each of the species I’d never seen before. If I had any choice in the matter, I’d never be coming back to this cavern, so I’d not have the opportunity to study them again.

It was a daydream, a silly one at that, but I thought that if I made it out of this in one piece, it might be nice to study botany properly at the Consortium. It was the one thing that I’d taken a special interest in. In my village, they monitored most of my day-to-day activities, but they always allowed me to read. Of course, someone hand-selected the books, but they must have considered botany a ‘safe subject’, as they provided me with several books on the matter. It’d become a passion, somethingI could cling to beyond being my people’s savior. Something of my own. The girl from a desolate tundra falling in love with flora that could never grow there—it’d be humorous if it wasn’t so sad.

The best part about my pilgrimage had been traveling farther south and having the opportunity to see the plants I’d read about in person. There was a limit to what the imagination was capable of. Nothing compared to the real thing. The vivid colors, the scents, the sensation of the petals between my fingertips. There was an entire world beyond the one of ice and snow I’d lived my entire life in, and I’d only just begun to discover it. There was so much more I still wanted to see and to do.

So yes, it was a silly daydream, made even more silly by how mundane it was, but it was a sliver of hope that I desperately needed to carry on. I had to imagine a future in order to have faith that I would, in fact, have one. I was no longer on a journey sending me to my death. I could have my own future, and that future was beautiful.

Alandris and I would live in a small, cozy home right on the outskirts of the Consortium. He would oversee the place as the Grand Arch Magus, and I would eventually teach botany, so that no new students would be quite as awful at it as he was. We would have a dog, or maybe even two or three. Our home, a bed, and a warm meal would always be open to anyone who needed it. It would be boring—perfectly, wonderfully boring.

I was unaware of the tear escaping my eye until it dripped down my jaw, and I hastily wiped my cheek as Alandris halted infront of me. I saw nothing ahead of us, nor did I hear anything or anyone. “What is it?” I asked.

“You don’t feel it?” He turned to me. “We are nearing an immense magical presence. I can’t determine whether or not it is living, but we should be ready, regardless.”

I hadn’t sensed a thing, but my magic had never really worked that way. Without Zaelos dwelling inside me, I had a sense that I would be devoid of any magical capability.

Our pace slowed to a stroll. With tense shoulders and liquid fire dancing between his fingers, Alandris keenly focused on the path ahead, ready to strike. Whatever he sensed, it had him on edge. I’d never seen him quite so serious, not during the Visumena attack, nor when fighting the hooded men who’d ambushed us. His reaction to the magic he’d sensed was something entirely different.

I braced myself for the unknown, though I did not call upon my magic for fear that Zaelos would awaken from his temporary slumber to torment me. He had grown bold in his attacks on my mind, not caring where I was awake or asleep before whispering his poison between my ears. The resulting headaches were excruciating. The human body was not made to house two souls—that much was clear.

The narrow path we walked on gave way to another open area of the cavern, nearly the same size as the one we’d rested in. The same type of flora decorated the floors and walls, but aside from the plant life, the room was completely empty. The only thing that stood out was an archway built into the rock face at the veryback of the room. An archway that led to nothing at all. If it’d once led to another part of the cave system, it was now walled off.

“That is the source,” Alandris said, staring toward the archway.

“That?” I stepped beside him, squinting at the rock as if it would transform into something more interesting if I stared hard enough. “It’s a dead end, is it not? Do you sense magic emanating from behind it?”

“No. It is coming from the archway itself.”

I stepped forward to get a closer look, spotting more Faerie runes, but Alandris held a hand in front of me to stop my progress. I wrapped my fingers around his hand. “I’ll be fine,” I said. “The stone won’t bite.”

His mouth dropped into a pout, but he released me anyway. “It might.”

I shook my head as I approached the wall, laughing to myself over his ridiculousness. The runes were a jumble of chaos at first, but slowly became clearer as whatever allowed me to comprehend them clicked into place.

“Wander home to the endless field of wildflowers, where golden rays of light peek through the clouds, and love and life are eternal,” I repeated the words. “A poem, I think.”

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