Page 30 of Reel Love

far greater than any we have solved.

~ R. Carson

I’m sitting on my sailboat in the harbor admiring some rare underwater shots my friend sent me of the Pacific Hagfish Eptatretus stoutii. It’s a primitive fish that lives below 600 feet and often far deeper. Gene and I went to grad school together. He’s into mixed-air tank diving to extreme depths. He sends me shots like this out of the blue every few months. I’m never disappointed.

I’m so focused on the photos I barely notice Ben climbing aboard my boat.

“Hey, man. What’s up?” he asks.

“Hey. Just looking at some photos a friend sent me.”

“Photos of … a girl? His dog? His vacation?”

I turn my phone around and Ben’s face is priceless.

He rears his head back and an expression of disgust overtakes his features. “Whatisthat thing?”

“It’s a Pacific Hagfish. Otherwise known as a slime eel.”

“And your friend sent you this pic?”

“Yes.”

“Time to get some new friends, my man. That’s not the kind of pic friends send friends.”

I chuckle. Then I decide to have some fun.

“The slime eel has five stomachs.”

“For what?”

“Digestion, of course. And …” I wait for maximum impact. “They can emit a bucket-full of slime instantaneously when they are frightened or threatened.”

“Dude! Gross! And you wonder why you’re single. There are some things that should just not be discussed. Even between friends. Buckets of slime are definitely in that category. You do wonder why you’re single, don’t you? If not, I don’t. Not anymore.”

He’s shaking his head and smiling, but then he shudders and says, “Gross, Dude! Gross!” while he flicks his hands as if they have slime on them, followed by a dramatic demonstration where he sticks his tongue out in sheer disgust.

“Man. How do you expect me to even get in the ocean after your slimy overshare?”

I’m laughing. I flash Ben another photo. I’m an older brother. I know how to poke fun when I’m getting a reaction out of someone younger than me. And this? This is more entertaining than it should be.

“This isn’t funny, man.” Ben makes a disgusted face again, but then he smiles and shrugs off his reaction. “I’m going to have nightmares of that creature sliming all over me. And to think. I came here to apologize for teasing you about your fanboy crush on Alana Graves.”

My laughter dies down at the mention of her name.

“Uh huh. That’s what I thought.” Ben points at me. “You need to put that phone away.”

If he only knew I spent two whole hours with Alana yesterday.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just show me the world's weirdest creature right now, and do what I came to do.”

“That isn’t the world’s weirdest creature by a long shot,” I assure Ben.

“You need to get out a bit more, Stevens. I’m not kidding. Get a dog. Date someone—preferably a human.”

“Is that what you came to say?” I stand and walk to the mini fridge in my cabin. “Want something to drink?”

“Do you have pop?”